The rabbit whole
by Kitt98
Summary: A romance between Spock and a made up Character


The Rabbit Hole.

Kirk stood pacing.

"I do not like this McCoy. Why is this person coming to my ship?

His voice was borderline hostile.

McCoy shook his head.

"We have no choice Jim. Nicholas killed him self. Star Fleet takes that stuff seriously. From what I understand, people like the one coming are stander issues on larger ships that travel for long periods of time away from home."

At the mention of Ensign Nicholas Death, the normal tan Kirk paled slightly. His hazel eyes looked off as pain clouded them.

"Why didn't he come to us? Did he really believe we did not care Bones?" His voice was quiet.

Spock answered calmly.

"As the Captain of the ship, you carry all of this ship on you, from what I could read Captain, he felt this was the only way. It is logical to blame your self."

A smirk ghosted around Kirk's lips as he looked at his Second in Command. As always a cool almost sardonic look was on Spock's face. Kirk nodded at Spock.

"Understood Spock. When is the brain picker to show up?"

"Brain picker Captain?" Spock looked confused.

McCoy laughed.

"The Captain means Lieutenant Merissa Criton. Since she is a psychologist the crude term for them is brain picker"

Spock raised his eyebrow at Kirk and straightened his shoulders.

"Her shuttle will be docking in a few minutes Captain. Are we going to the shuttle bay?"

Kirk made a straggled sound.

"Yes we have to or it would be rude."

He felt trapped and did not like it.

Uhura spoke up.

"Captain UUS Refrane shuttle requesting permission to dock sir."

Kirk nodded to her and then looked at McCoy and Spoke.

"Let's go and pretend to be nice."

He smoothed down his uniform and walked to the lift. Spock and McCoy followed him. Once in they grabbed the bars.

"Docking bay. This promises to be fun." Kirk did not sound serious.

McCoy smirked and Spock said nothing. The doors hissed opened and the three men exited. They walked quietly to the Docking bar and then inside. The stood silently as the shuttle docked. The doors opened and Admiral Pike walked off followed by younger looking women. She was 5'7 with rich red hair clipped up and vivid green eyes. Kirk watched her intently. She moved in a graceful way, but her eyes where almost what one would called cold. She came to a stop near Admiral Pike and waited. Her green eyes flickered to Kirk, there was no emotion in them at all. This un-nerved Kirk slightly.

He stepped forward and extended his hand.

"Admiral great to see you again sir. How are you?"

Pike took Kirk's hand in his and shook it warmly.

"Captain, I am well. It feels wonderful to be back on my ship again. You treating her well?"

This was a standing joke between then two men and they both smiled. Pike turned to the woman and gestured her forward.

"This is Lieutenant Criton. Lieutenant Criton, this young pup is Captain Kirk, that tall man over there with the sardonic smile is Lieutenant Commander Spock, and that slender blue eyed fellow is Doctor McCoy."

She nodded to them all and spoke in a softly accented voice, the accent was almost Transilvania sounding.

"Charmed I am sure, gentlemen. I am sure I am not wanted here but never the less here I am. Let's try to play nice."

Her blunt words caused McCoy to make a choking sound. Pike looked at her and touched her shoulder briefly. Her eyes flickered to him and she took a deep breath.

"I mean not to be rude. I don't believe in lying or in as you human have called it. Sugar coating. Please do not take offense." She spoke while still looking at Pike.

Her cool green eyes then looked back at Kirk waiting. He sensed a challenge in them and bit back a smile.

"Well then Lieutenant, welcome to the Enterprise. Spock will show you to your quarters, then to the conference room, where Admiral Pike, Doctor McCoy and I will be waiting.

Spock gestured to the doors and she nodded. She went to take hold of her luggage but Spock took them first. She merle looked at him and began following him.

He spoke calmly as they walked.

"You room is on deck 6, room 546. Your are two deck above the dining and recreation area. One below the Bridge and on the same floor as the Medbay."

Her green eyes flickered to him and Spock felt he was being coolly assessed. He turned his dark brown eyes to her.

"I have always been curious about you Spock. I am associated with your father. I have known him a while. Never the less it will wait for now." She looked off as if dismissing him.

A ghost of a smile filled his lips and was gone. He stopped near her room. She went in and he followed.

"Give me a moment Lieutenant Commander." She said as she walked into the refresher room.

Spock walked to the window and waited. She came out momentarily. Her hair was smoothed back and re-clipped. Her uniform was now fresh and smoothed out. She looked at him.

"Shall we Lieutenant Commander?"

Spock raised his eyebrow.

"Indeed."

They both exited her room.

On the other side of the ship, in the conference room waiting for them, Kirk and Pike where talking.

"Now Kirk give her a chance. She is a good officer and if you can get through her defense system a good person. I know she seems cold and blunt, but she has been through stuff that would make you shudder. Let her do her job and try not to be to hard on her."

Pike's voice was almost pleading.

Kirk looked at him kindly.

"I do not like brain pickers, but out of respect for you and knowing she is only doing her job, I'll play fair." His voice was amused.

Pike stepped closer to him.

"Jim listen to me. I have known her a long time. She is not what she acts like she is. Please try to understand that."

Kirk looked at him confused, but before he could ask the door opened. Spock and Merissa walked in. Spock nodded to Kirk and Merissa sat in a chair.

Her green eyes looked at Kirk.

"Shall we get started Captain?" her strangely accented voice seem to fill the room.

All four men sat down and she pulled out her data pad. She clicked some buttons and when she came to what she wanted she placed it down. She folded her long elegant hands on the table and looked at Kirk.

"Tell me Captain, in your own wards why you nor anyone else on this ship, seem to not know or sense the Ensign extreme depression or find a way to help him?" Her voice was emotionless as she leaned back waiting.

Kirk stiffened noticeable at her words

"Now listen here."

She waved out a hand breaking off his words.

"It was not a accusation Captain, merely the truth. No one did notice his depression, therefore did nothing to stop him. I am just curious as to how. Did he hide it? Where there no signs at all?" Her voice was emotionless.

Spock studied her intently.

McCoy cleared his throat.

"He did seem a little off, but when questioned, he merely stated he was upset with his girlfriend breaking up with him." His blue eyes seemed sad.

Merissa looked at McCoy.  
"His girlfriend? Who is she and where is she?"

McCoy leaned back in his chair.

"Jennifer is in her quarters. She has not said much since that day. She blames her self. She said the only reason she broke up with him was because he was having a hard time committing. She loved him very much."

Merissa made some notes in her data pad and then looked at Kirk.

"Did you notice anything lacking in his performance? Or behavior?"

Kirk nodded.

"He was late for work a couple times and looked tired. I told him to report to sick bay."

Kirk's hand tightened on the table. As the Captain he carried much weight on his shoulders. Merissa's eyes looked at his hand and briefly touched it.

"You may be the Captain, but you can't know everything." Her hand was gone before he could blink, leaving him wondering what had happened.

She stood in a fluid movement and looked out the window.

"And you Lieutenant Commander Spock?"

Spock's deep voice seemed to fill the room.

"I would be the last person most on this ship would turn to for emotional support Lieutenant. I am a Vulcanian. I am known for being almost robotic in my emotions. Although if you are asking if I noticed a change. The answer is yes, but after he was sent to McCoy it was out of may hands. All I could do was watch him when ever he was around."

Merissa's green eyes flicker to Spock. She looked up at him and shook his head.

"Vulcanian's are not robot's Spock, you only try to act like ones."

Her voice was soft and she turned back to the window silent.

Looking at her face, the men could see she was lost in thought. She remained silent for a while, the other men became lost in their own thoughts. Kirk thought about the last day of the Ensign's life. McCoy on Jennifer worried about the decline in her health.

Pike silently watched Kirk worried. Spock thought on Merissa's words and wondered why they had affected him.

Finally she spoke.

"I have not come to condemn you Captain. I had already decided that you all where innocent before I got here. I just wanted to know what you had truly seen. Having said this, it changes nothing. I will be joining your ship. My job will to be around so that hopefully others will not do this again. I will be the person they come to when they are hurting. Although you think I am cold Captain, I assure you they will come to me."

She turned from the window in a smooth movement. Her cool green eyes looked at Kirk waiting.

He took a deep breath.

"Welcome to my ship Lieutenant."

She almost smiled.

"Thank you Captain. I will go to talk to Jennifer."

As the men stood she waved them off.

"No I can do this my self. Thank you."

Her eyes looked at Pike briefly and a silent message seemed to pass through them. She turned and left.

The four men watched her go, then Spock spoke.

"She is telepathic is she not?"

He poised it as a question and yet it was not.

Pike smiled at the Vulcan.

"Yes she is, she can sense emotions and in the right conditions, thoughts as well." 

Spock raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. McCoy looked at Pike.

"That must be overloading at time."

Pike looked sad momentarily.

"Yes it is you have no idea."

He took a cleansing breath.

"I'll be leaving with in the hour."

He stood smoothing down his uniform. He nodded at the other men and left the room. Kirk blew out a breath and let out a chuckle. McCoy looked at him questionably.

"She is quite the pistol isn't she?" He said laughing.

McCoy smile.

"Yes, it is a shame such a lovely woman has such cold eyes. She is very blunt isn't she?"

Spock looked at McCoy.

"Would you prefer she lied Doctor?"

McCoy shook his head.

"No, but I am only used to such bluntness from you my cold bloodied Vulcan."

Spock merely looked at McCoy. Kirk spoke up.

"There is something else. Did you notice the way Admiral Pike asked me not to judge her by her behavior? I can't help but be curious to this."

Spock looked at the door Merissa had walked out through earlier.

"She is heavily shielded through her mind, but there is a whisper of something darker, almost painful in her."

He shrugged a shoulder, not going any further.

Kirk shook his head.

"Well whether I like it or not she is now a member of my crew and I shall respect her as such, as long as she stays away from my brain."

McCoy laughed hard.

"If she was smart she would do that anyway. God only knows what you have up there. Might scar the woman permanently."

Kirk snorted.

"Gee Bones, nice to know what you really think of me."

He closed his eyes briefly.

"The Ensigns memorial is tomorrow. I am still working on what words to say. McCoy, I am worried about Jennifer."

McCoy touched his shoulder.

"So am I Jim."

Spock said nothing as he listened to the other men. He could offer no words in instances like this. Vulcan's may feel emotions but they deny it and do not talk about it ever.

The room feel silent.

Merissa walked to Jennifer's room. Before she pushed the button, she let her mask drop. The cold eyes and haughty face disappeared. Replaced by warm glowing eyes and a soft heart. She pushed the chime button.

"Enter." Jennifer's dead sounded voice spoke.

Merissa walked in and as she moved a type of glow surrounded her. She sat down near the pale and wan Ensign.

"Tis was not your fault Jenive" Her voice was soothing and had a Irish lit to it.

Jennifer's deep blue eyes looked at her. She took a shuddering breath.

"You sound like my grandmother. Why?"

"Ye heart aches for her. So I sound like who ever it is ye needs to hear from to feel safe." Merissa stroked the young woman's dark hair.

"Nicholas made his choice, it was a bad one my dear. You did not cause it nor force it."

Merissa began to sing in a low calming voice.

"Though the wind blows and the rain falls, My love will ye shelter from the storm.

Let your heart soar and your dreams take flight. My love will be beacon to bring you

home. Believe in every wishing star and every fairy tale. Never cease believing in your

happily ever after.

As the wind blows and the leaves change my love will be a constant reminder ye are

never alone. Remember the bonny blue flowers, in the meadows of dreams and let my

love always light your way."

Her voice trailed off and the young woman was asleep in her arms.

"Sleep well, Jennifer, when you awake your burdens will be lighter. Let your self forgive what was never truly your fault."

She stood and put the woman in bed. She stretched and left the room. Once outside the door, her cold mask slipped back into place. She took a slight walk about of the ship, nodding to the crew as she walked by them. She came to the Medbay and walked in McCoy was talking to a nurse there.

He looked up.

"Lieutenant Criton, this is Nurse Chapel."

Merissa nodded to Chapel.

"Pleasure to meet you."

She looked at McCoy.

"Permission to speak to you privately Doctor? No offense to you Nurse Chapel, I just do not wish to betray."

Nurse Chapel smiled kindly and left. Merissa sat down and waited on McCoy. He looked amused but sat near her.

"Jennifer is resting now Doctor. She will need to eat and take care of her self a few days before she is truly her self again, but she will get better."

Her cold green eyes looked at McCoy but something lurked in them.

"What ever you and the Captain think of me does not matter. My job is to help people. I hope you will let me do my job and not interfere."

McCoy watched her and then spoke in a soft voice, the slight country accent in it made Merissa smile internally.

"Now ma'am I have no problem with you, as for the Captain? Give him time. If you being here makes the crew better with then y'all should know I am all for it."

She nodded at him.

"Good, from now on when you even sense some one might be trouble please do not hesitate to send them my way Sir."

McCoy smiled.

"Please call me Doctor or Leonard. I dislike sir, makes me feel old."

His blue eyes twinkled with laughter and she almost smiled at him.

"I see well then Doctor, you may call me Merissa but only when we are talking like this."

She stood and held out her hand to him. He took it in both his warm one's She jerked at the action and almost lost vulnerable look filled her eyes. It was quickly gone.

"Then I look forward to having many talks like this Merissa."

She nodded and quickly removed her hand.

"Good night Doctor."

She left as McCoy's eyes watched her intently.

"Well now isn't that interesting."  
He said to himself.

Merissa was in such a hurry to leave that she was not paying attention. She soon found her self slammed into a very tall and hard frame. Hands steadied her and she looked up into the sardonic face of Spock. In her eyes fear flickered through them momentarily. Then her eyes went ice cold.

"I am fine Lieutenant Commander Spock please release me."

Spock dropped his hands and step back, had he not seen the fear he would just dismissed her actions, but having seen it another piece of the puzzle came into place.

"Forgive me Lieutenant Criton is all well?" His voice was calm.

She nodded.

"Fine, I am tired, good night Lieutenant Commander Spock. Sleep well and may the morning find you safe."

She hurried off upset at her behavior, she knew she would have to seek him out tomorrow and apologize. It had been her fault and she had been rude.

Spock watched her go.

"Fascinating."

He turned and left to his quarters working out something in his head.

Once Merissa reached her quarters she sunk into the chair drained. Helping heal others always made her more vulnerable and drained. She knew that was why McCoy's kind action had touched her and why she reacted to Spock's touch.

She took a calming breath and made a face.

"Off to a great start I am."

She groaned and removed her clothing. She began her warm down stretches and tried to force her self to relax.

Back at McCoy's office he read up on Merissa and what little was there made him sigh sadly.

"Pike was not kidding when he said she had seen much."

A knot formed at the base of his neck and he tried to rub it out. He poured him self a brandy and slowly sipped it as he watched the stars fly out the window.

In Spocks quarters he was coming out of a deep meditation and as his almost whiskey eyes opened. He unfolded his long lean frame. He pulled his musical instrument to his lap and played. Yet through it all he could not erase the look of fear he say in Merissa's face.

No woman had ever looked at him in fear, and he found it was not an emotion he liked being associated with. Nor did he like seeing in the Lieutenant's eyes. After several minutes he laid the instrument down. He lied down on his bed and his breathing slowed even more.

For the fist time in many days Jennifer's sleep was deep and restful. The pain in her easing. No whimpers of hurt or moans of a nightmare filled the room. Just a peaceful, restful sleep.

Back in Merissa's room she finally feel asleep on her bed, knowing that this was just the beginning of her journey with this crew.

Spock walked out of his room and to the dining room. He was used to being the first there and liked eating in peace. Although, this morning when he entered the room he found Merissa already there. She was eating some fruit and going over her data pad. She had not sensed him there and he took this unguarded moment to study her. Believing her self to be alone, her cold mask was not up. Her eyes where a soft green and a gentle smile was on her lips, as she hummed softly. She bit into the fruit and frowned at something she read, then her back stiffened and her eyes flew to Spock. Seeing him there her mask slipped into place, though a faint pink color lighted her cheeks. Internal Spock was fascinated by this whole thing and found him self for some reason intrigued by this woman. Outwardly his face was calm and echoed none of his thoughts.

"Good Morning Lieutenant Criton." His voice was peaceful.

She nodded and spoke stiffly, embarrassed and feeling exposed.

"Morning Lieutenant Commander Spock."

She turned back to her food in a dismissing way. She did not see the sardonic smile that filled Spock's lips as he gathered his food. For a reason he did not know, he sat near her. He smiled internally when she stiffened more.

"Can I do something for you Lieutenant Commander Spock."

Her voice was not friendly.

Spock hid his amusement. He normally did not bother or go out of his way to irate others, but for some reason, he wanted to with Merissa.

"McCoy said you spoke to Ensign Jennifer and later on when he checked on her, she seemed better."

Her cold green eyes flickered to him, she pursed her lips in displeasure.

"Yes we talked and I explained that she could not blame her self for another's action."

Her voice was cold.

Spock sipped his Vulcan shake watching her action. He could tell he was making her mad and was amused by this with out knowing why. Usually the only person he liked, pushing buttons, as Kirk would say was, well Kirk. His eyes took in Merissa. She was attractive in a human way. But there was a energy that dance along her skin that was not human and a human eye would not be able to see it.

"I was merely stating Lieutenant that the Ensign was better." His voice, to those that knew him, would be said to be almost amused.

Merissa took a deep breath, immensely disliking the cold almost robotic Vulcan. He was not much different in his actions then his father, but for some reason it irritated her.

She put down her fork and gave him a cold smile.

"Why thank you kindly Lieutenant Commander Spock."

She stood coolly and cleaned up her plate.

"Well Lieutenant Commander Spock, may this day find you blessed."

Though the words where kind her voice was ice. She nodded and left.

Spock's hazel eyes watched her leave, with what was almost warmth.

"It already has Lieutenant."

His voice was almost a whisper.

On the bridge Kirk was looking worried.

"Are you sure Lieutenant Uhura? Now?"

The attractive black woman nodded.

"Yes Captain the shuttle is docking now."

Kirk sighed.

"The girl always did have a mind of her own. Chekov please go to the shuttle bay and escort my [i] sister[/i] to the bridge."

Chekov nodded and left the bridge. He went to the shuttle bay and as it docked he stood waiting. A young woman in her early 20's with long soft blond hair and the Captain's hazel eyes walked off. She was a slender as the captain was stocky, but about the same height.

"Hello Miss Lillith, I am Ensign Chekov, you brother asked me to escort you to the bridge." He sounded nervous and shy.

Lillith smiled with warmth.

"Well then Chekov please escort away."

She slipped her arm through his and he blushed deeply. Then they exited, as Chekov tried not to trip over his own two feet.

Back on the bridge, Merissa stood at attention watching all on the bridge. Her body was ridged and her eyes cold. She was still not happy about her interaction with Spock.

Her head turned and she the looked off as Spock walked onto the bridge. Seeing her he gave a sardonic smile and purposely walked by her to his stationed. She fought back a hissing sound.

[i] Arrogant Vuclan.[/i] She thought.

The doors opened again and Lillith walked off with a red Chekov beside her. He cleared his throat.

"Kaptain ve sister."

He stuttered then walked to the helm.

Kirk walked to the Lillith and embraced her.

"Welcome to my ship, you stubborn girl, what am I going to do about you?"

Lillith gave a warm laugh.

"Oh come on big brother you missed me and you know it."

She returned the hug then looked over her shoulder.

"McCoy, how wonderful to see you again."

She walked to him and hugged him tight. His blue eyes glowed as he looked down at the young girl he loved like a sister as well.

"Well hello trouble. Come to give your brother gray hairs?"

He teased her.

She laughed in delight.

"But of course what are little sisters for?"

She looked at Spock and gave him a kind nod, to which he returned. Her eyes turned to the red head. Most would think the woman was cold, but she could somehow sense immense pain within her.

"Hello I am Lillith and you are?"

Her voice was a kind as she could make it.

An almost trapped look passed across Merissa face then she forced her face calm.

"I am Lieutenant Criton, pleased to meet you."

Merissa held out her hand, to be polite and Lillith took it.

"Like wise, your new are you not?"

Merissa found that there was no reason to be cold to this young woman and felt she would only be acting like a moron if she continued her behavior. Since the first time since coming on the ship she gave a warm smile.

"Well you brother calls me a brain picker, but I am a physiologist."

She smiled at Lillith then withdrew her hand.

Lillith laughed and shook her head.

"My brother thinks he is funny, sadly it is all in his head."

Merissa's eyes widen and then she burst out laughing. As she caught her-self then laughter died out quickly. A soft color came to her cheeks, but she knew her and Lillith where going to be friends. A bond formed between then two women.

Kirk and McCoy watched stunned. The laughter and warmth it produced from Merissa changed her into something warm and touchable. Spock cocked his head watching intently as well. Feeling their eyes on her Merissa's mask feel back into place and she stepped back from Lillith.

"I see, well welcome aboard Lillith." Her voice was cool again.

Lillith walked back to Kirk.

"Well like it or not I am staying."

Kirk gave a long suffering sigh and said to no-one in particular.

"Why me?"

Lillith grinned.

"Just lucky I guess."

The bridge burst into laughter as Kirk groaned.

Kirk ruffled Lillith's hair and sat down in his chair.

"Ok trouble, see it how you want to see it. You're delusional anyway. Chekov place us back on course to Veridain Five."

The bridge crew went back to their stations and Merissa went to hers. She pulled up her data pad and began reading over the personal reports over the last couple months. With the exception of Nicholas most of the crew seemed well adjusted and organized. She went over each report, looking for anything that would worry her. When she found such things she made indentations in the notes, so she knew to talk to that certain crewmember. Several hours flew by and she came out of her study sensing some one near her. Her unfocused eyes looked up, seeing Spock they went cool.

"Yes Lieutenant Commander Spock?"

Spock raised his eyebrow.

"You are well past your lunch time and your stomach is growling. "

Merissa was still not used to this fleshy body, but Spock did not need to know this. She was unpleased with him noticing and she felt stupid.

She stood while speaking.

"Please forgive my rude body for disturbing you."

She headed to the turbo lift, and when the doors opened Spock stood next to her. She fought off making a sound of displeasure, for the sake of Uhura who was next to her. The ride was silent and uncomfortable. The doors opened and she strode quickly to a table and ordered her food. She picked up her data pad and began reading again when she sensed Spock sit down near her. She put her pad down with a sharp snap.

"Yes Lieutenant Commander Spock?" Her voice was not friendly.

"Why does my presence seem to bother you so much?" His voice was curious.

"Because you are cold and arrogant. You think you know all and are better then us because of your ice cold meaningless logic." Her voice was tinged with anger.

Hearing it she drew back sharply and forced it down. She took a deep breath and her body stilled and her eyes went cool.

"Forgive me for my outburst. I had no right to attack you like that." Her voice was now calm with a layer of ice.

Spock leaned back and looked at her.

"If I have come off as believing I am better then you because of what I am that was never my intent." His voice was calm, but something lurked in the undertone.

"It does not matter Spock, is there anything else you wish to ask me?" She took a bite of her food.

"Indeed, how do you know my father?"

Merissa almost choked on the bite she had taken. She gasp and Spock pushed on a certain area of her back and breath rushed into her lungs.

"Your father? Well he and I where once close friends. I introduced him to your mother. He was a peace mission and I was aiding him."

Her voice was strangled sounding. She sipped her drink and did not look Spock in the face.

"Indeed?" His voice belayed his thoughts of him knowing she was keeping something from him.

"How is Amada your mother?" Her voice was soft.

Spock hearing the emotion in her voice watched her intently.

"You can ask her your self. She and my father will be here later on today.

Merissa's head snapped up.  
"WHAT?!"

The others in the room looked at her worried. A color came to her face and she stood in a rushed movement.

"Forgive me Spock I need to leave."

She exited the room before Spock could say a word. His hazel eyes watched her as she left.

"Curious. I wonder, as McCoy would say. How deep this rabbit hole goes" He said softly.

Merissa kept walking till she came to a empty room, once there she sunk to the ground and cupped her face as she watched the stars fly by. The only sound in the room was her breathing.

Back at the Dining room, Spock finished his drink. He stood and walked to his room, he went to his computer and paged his mother.

A attractive human female, of older age shimmer in on screen.

"Mother are you well?"

The older woman smiled.

"Spock, why yes I am. What is it?"

"I informed Lieutenant Criton of your coming and I received the most peculiar response. Why?" His eyes watched his mother.

She took in a deep breath and gave him a sad smile,

"There is much you do not know of her and much pain in her. Your father and I are very close to her, but it is not easy to be her. Please Spock try not to be so cold to her. You have a heart, I wish you would use it."

Normal Spock would dismiss this but the raw pain in his mother's voice gave him pause.

"Mother? What am I missing?"

She merely shook her head.

"There will be time for the answers when we get there. Be patient my son and know I love you."

Spock nodded

"And I you mother."

Spock's mother was the only one he had ever said I love you too, not because she was the only one he loved, but because he knew she needed to hear those words, not just the actions. His mom gave him a sad smile and her face shimmered off screen.

Spock stood and meditated. His com rang a couple hours later letting him know his parents shuttle was arriving. He stood and dressed. Then headed to the Docking bay.

Back in the other room where Merissa was sitting, her eyes opened and she wiped the tears off her face. She stood and smoothed down her clothes.

"So it begins." Her voice echoed eerily in the empty room. She moved to the doors and headed to the Docking bay.

Merissa stood off to the side. Her hands locked behind her as Ambassador Sarek and Amanda exited the shuttle. She was back in the shadows, both dreading this and looking forwards towards it. At Sarek's face her heart twisted. Though he had aged somewhat in the last thirty-six years. It was slight and graceful. Amanda was still slender and lovely. Both people looked at peace and happy. Her hands trembled as she looked at the man she once loved very deeply. She tried pulling all her shields up and stood still.

Spock greeted his parents and Amanda pulled Kirk into a hug. The Captain gave a smile of warmth and nodded. They began chatting as Sarek pulled away. He turned and walked directly to where Merissa was. She felt her self tremble inside. His dark eyes looked at her and she fought not to move. He joined her in the shadows and stopped mere inches from her.

"Hello Merissa." His voice was still deep and still had a calming affect on her.

"Hello Sarek." Her voice was soft and she looked down, hiding her thoughts from him.

In an action that not typical Vulcan he reached out and touched her shoulder.  
"Walk with me."

It was not a request. She turned and they both left. As they left she felt Spock watching them. He went to move to them and his mother stopped him.

"No Spock, she is hurting and he needs to help her."  
Her voice was filled with love and had an edge of haunting to it.

Back outside the room Sarek and Merissa walked to an empty conference room. Once the doors closed he walked close to her and tilted up her face.  
"It hurts that you would block your thoughts from me."

Tears filled her now pain filled eyes.  
"I could not help it Sarek, I am happy for you, but it still hurts."

Sarek nodded sadly.  
"A part of me still loves you and always will Merissa."  
His finger traced a tear down her face and she shook her head.

"I knew the moment I saw you two together you where meant to be."  
Her raw voice whispered in room.

Sarek went to draw her in his arms, but she slapped him hard. Sobs built in her and then escaped in a raw sound, Sarek normally so logical and calm looked pained.  
"You bastard, Spock is so much like you, but he ignores his heart. Your and your people have taught him shame for his human blood. How could you do such a thing?"

Sarek's hands rested on her shoulders. Because at one time he believed her to be his mate, he had opened his emotions for her, because of this, with her he always felt his emotions stronger.  
"We still have much to learn. We acknowledge our failure when it came to Spock and we are sadden by our arrogance Merissa."

Since he was a part of the Vulcan council he talked in we form instead of them or me.

She nodded and spoke as she placed a hand on his face, where the red mark from her slap was.  
"If he does not hear his heart he does not hear my people and can not be my guardian."

Sarek paled even more at her words.  
"It seems my sins have come full circle."  
He bowed his head.

Merissa tilted his head back up.  
"It is not to late to seek the healing of these sins."  
Her voice was all the sudden warm and filled with love.

Sarek gave a slight smile and cupped her face. He gave her a very brief kiss and nodded.  
"Yes you are right, if my son ignores his heart, because of my sins, and the elders sins, then all is lost."

Merissa stepped back.  
"Amanda and him are approaching."

She walked to the window as Spock and Amanda entered. Amanda walked over and drew Merissa into a tight warm hug. She had been talking to her husband through his mind and saw all that had happened. Pain filled her at the though of knowing her son was ignoring his heart. She gave Merissa a brief kiss as Sarek had done.

"You are loved my dear one. Always and forever, our hearts are joined."  
Her voice was filled with such love.

Merissa tilted her head in a way that Spock could not see it. She refused to let him see her weak.  
"As are you Amanda. I hope all finds you well?"

Amanda let out a deep sigh, frustrated at the situation.  
"It does indeed. I see you and my son are mixing like oil and water?"

Spock coughed slightly and Merissa gave a soft chuckle.  
"Better then a match in a oxygen rich room."

Her green eyes smiled at Amanda as they shared an old memory. Spock looked at both women.  
"May I ask what is going on here?"

Merissa turned her face to the window, as Sarek and Amanda looked at their son.  
"I seek you're forgiveness Spock."  
Sarek's voice was serious and humble.

Spock's face reflected shock momentarily.  
"Indeed. What for?"

Sarek placed a hand on his son's shoulder and Spock stiffened at the action, his father rarely ever touched him.

"For teaching you to be ashamed of your human heart. Spock you must learn you are who you are and the more you fight to be emotionless the more all is lost."

Spock moved back from Sarek.  
"I am Vulcan, Vulcan's are logic."

Sarek nodded.  
"Yes but we still feel and we still have a heart. You are trying to ignore yours."

Spock looked at Merissa not happy that she was hearing this and seeming him unbalanced.  
"What does this have to do with Merissa?"

Sarek looked at him.  
"She is Allrane and you are suppose to be her Guardian."

Spock's eyes opened in shock.  
"What?!"  
Sarek nodded.  
"Father you told me of our blood and what we promised the Allrane's. They are the group of Ancient people who help teach us logic so that we did not destroy our self, but Merissa? An Allrane? How is this possible?"

Sarek looked at Spock.  
"She is shielding to protect her self and others. It was not a accident she is here Spock."

Spock looked at Merissa and stepped near her.  
"You knew this and said nothing?"

Merissa nodded her eyes looking at really nothing.  
"I could not feel your heart, therefore I figured you had lost touch with it. I have no desire to be subject to one who is to afraid and ashamed to feel."

Amanda drew in a deep breath.  
"Merissa please my son."

Merissa spun around.  
"It is true. He has been taught he should be ashamed of his human blood, so he tries harder to be cold and logical. He can not hear the whispers of my people. There is also fear in him that he will fail. Amanda I speak the truth not to hurt but for you to understand. Your son can not be my guardian. I have no wish to die in his hands."

Spock jerked back hard.  
"Excuse me?"

"If you can not hear you heart, you can not hear my people, and you can not feel. If you can not hear my people you can not protect me and if you can not feel, then I have nothing to hold on to in the darkest hours Spock."  
Her voice was laced with pain, as Spock looked at her stunned at the truth of her words.

Spock began to place things together. How it seemed Merissa was not sure of her own body. How she had not known she was hungry or cold. How she was unaware of simple things.

"How long have you been flesh?" He demanded.

"A couple months now." Her voice was soft

"And before that?" He tried to be kind in his words.

"The last time I was flesh you where still in your mothers womb. I reached out and touched her womb and your life forced reached out to mine. That was the instant I became energy again." She looked at her hands as she spoke.

"I am suppose to be your guardian now, but because of the fact I have learned to ignore my heart, and listen to only logic, I can not be. Because it would kill you?"

He looked at his father who nodded.

"Then I have failed, our family has been her people's guardians for almost 2,000 years."

Merissa looked up at Spock and touched his shoulder very briefly then her hand dropped.

"You have only failed if you refuse to open your heart enough for my people to feel it."

Spock looked at her and then his father.

"Most illogical this all is."

His mother groaned so very sick of that word. A brief faint smile tilted the side of his father's lips and was gone. Merissa just shrugged a shoulder and turned her back to him. She was so very cold and tired. She refused to show this weakness to that irritating Vulcan. She felt his eyes on her and stood up straight.

"It is your choice what ever you choose Spock."

Her voice was soft with no hint of anger or malice.

Spock looked at his mother. Her eyes where so sad, internally he flinched.

"I am human Spock and your mother, am is that so horrible you must ignore all that is me with in you?"

Raw pain was in her voice and both Spock and Sarek flinched at it, knowing they where both the cause of this pain. Sarek steeped closer to Amada and held out two fingers. A first she ignored them and then finally she rested her fingers on his.

"I love you Sarek, but I am tired of feeling I am less then or something below because I am human."

A tear ran down her face and she dropped her hand and left. For a second pain echoed in Sarek's eyes as he realized how deeply he had wounded his wife.

His voice was low when he spoke.

"Spock I must see to your mother and you must do what I have told you never to do, listen to your heart."

He looked at Merissa and his hand went to his face where it was still red from her slap.

"I hope my sins will be forgiven."

He bowed to her, then handed his son the guardian necklace he had worn around his neck for close to fifty years. He touched his son's shoulder then left. She placed her head down and stood still waiting. All that echoed in the room was her breathing and then moments later Spock's.

So many thoughts where running through Spock's mind. He had trained him self to ignore his heart. So that he would not shame his father, now he knew by doing so he had lost a vital part of him self. Despite their logic, Vulcanian's did still love, in their own way, but because of his human blood deep inside of him, Spock almost feared love. He knew it would not be the logical love of a Vulcan he felt but the passionate love of a human and that he did not know how to handle it.

"I am at a lose for words, Merissa."

He said honestly.

A hard chuckle came from her but once again she feel silent. Spock walked over to where she was and stood near her. He looked at the necklace in his hand. It had his family symbol on it and attached to the bottom was a stunning stone, which seemed to be all colors at once. It pulsed with warmth and the echoing of a heartbeat. This stone was almost 2,000 years old, given to Surak and had been passed down to guardian after guardian. Since the Vulcan's first came to be students of the Allrane species. Would this line really die with him? His hand tightened on the necklace and it pulsed in his head. He heard a faint whispering and knew it was her race trying to reach him. Spock did something he had not done since he was a small boy, running to his mother from the bullies that had taunted him, mocking his human blood. He listened to his heart. He touched her shoulder and turned her to face him. He touched the necklace against where it lay against her breastbone under her shirt. He then slipped it over his head as he touched his forehead to hers.

"I S'chn T'gai Spock, pronounce my self as your guardian now and until such time it is the will of the Allrane for me to no longer be. I shall guard you and protect you. Let me be your shelter Merissa."

His voice was formal.

Merissa remembered when Sarek had said the same words, but his had been tinged with a under current of love. She closed her eyes and repeated the words out of honor for Sarek and his family.

"I Merissa Criton descendent of the oldest Allrane. Take you S'chn T'gai Spock to be my guardian. To protect me from the over flow of emotions and shelter me in the darkness. I trust you above all others."

She said the words but did not believe them. She kissed his fore head and took a step back. She bowed low to him and then shivered.

"I am tired Lieutenant Commander Spock."

She spoke in a whisper and left.

Spock watched her go and leaned against the wall, drained. He had forgotten how draining it was to listen to ones heart and now that he had, how was he going to shut it up?

Back in Sarek's room Amada was sitting on the bed, when Sarek came in. She did not move nor look up. Sarek sat near her and reached out a hand. He touched the side of her face. Her face turned to him slightly stunned.

"Yes husband?"

Her voice sounded strained.

"I know I tease that I married you because it was logical, but Amada, we both know I married you because I love you."

His voice was soft but steel was in it.

Tears rolled down her face.

"I know you do and I know it is not Vulcan logic to say such things, but I am not Vulcan and I need to hear them. Do you understand? I am married to you but I can not stand the thought of you looking down at me."

Sarek looked down ashamed.

"I have never looked down at you, you guide me with your warmth and remind me logic alone can not save all. Forgive me?"

Amada looked up at him and cupped his face. She placed a warm loving kiss on his lips and pulled back enough to look in his eyes.

"Always my T'Hy'La, always."

He held her too him as the lights faded out.

Back in Merissa's room, in the darkness she was curled up into a ball as sobs ripped through her. Her hand was around her necklace as it pulsed and glowed. Her heart felt like it was breaking.

"I do not care what you say grandfather. I will never accept that cold heart Vulcan as my mate. I hate him."

But her voice lacked anger, it was laced with pain.

She turned her body shutting out her grandfather voice. Her sobs continued until she drifted to sleep.

Back in Spock's quarters, he was sitting on the floor trying to meditate, but could no reach where he wanted to be, he could feel Merissa's pain and for some reason it shamed him. He began training, in the fighting style of his people, till finally his body was worn out. He stepped into the refresher cleaned up and went into a deep sleep, his hand holding the necklace as he did.

Merissa woke with a start and shivered. She was still not use to fragileness of the flesh. When she was energy, she did not hunger nor feel cold. She was never weak or tired. She stood and walked to the refresher. Her heart still aching over the passage of time and how much Amanda and Sarek had aged.

She placed her head against the cool mirror and wished she could make the pain in her heart stop. She hated crying and she disliked the pressure it caused. She dressed slowly and then sat on her bed brushing her hair. She knew even before her door chimed Sarek was there.

"Enter." Her voice sounded weak even to her ears.

Sarek entered and moved in the same grace his son did. He moved a chair near her and sat down. One of the things she admired about the Vulcan's was how graceful they where. Her hand tightened around the clear brush.

"Hello Sarek." She fought to keep her voice neutral.

He raised his eyebrow in a way that reminded her of Spock.

"Hello Merissa. Do you really think over the years my connection to you has weakened to the point where your thoughts are not longer readable?"

She lowered the brush and said softly.

"My thoughts are not longer truly yours to read."

A look of almost pain crossed his face.

"No they are my son's. I never meant to fail your peoples teaching Merissa."

She bit her lip hard.

"I know, now all we can due is hope your actions are not stronger then Spock's heart. He does have one, and now he feels it. I hope he does not hate me in the end for making this so."

She brought her brush to her lap and bowed her head. Her red hair feel forward covering her face from Sarek's view. Sarek looked at her, his handsome face finely lined, but his deep eyes sharp as ever, did not miss a thing.

"I am not used to you hiding from me Merissa, and how ever illogical, it hurts me."

He reached out and lifted the red hair back.

"I do love Amanda and accept she is my other half, but you are the one that shall haunt me, this is not a emotion I am comfortable with nor accept. What do I need to do to make peace?"

Her green eyes shimmered with tears and pain.

"Give me completely over to your son."

A sob built in her chest, as she knew this was the only way. Sarek closed his eyes and his hand tightened hard and briefly in her hair. Then he released is and the silken strands slipped out of his grasp.

"Amanda is always in my mind and thoughts. She knows all and accepts me as I am. She loves you with her whole heart and knows our pain. She has given me permission to do two things. First one for you"

He tilted back her head and gave her a deep kiss. Merissa held onto his shirt and breathed his scent into her lungs. Slowly he drew back and his deep eyes looked into her green ones.

"Second one for me."

He raised his fingers and his pointer and middle extended them to her. She brought up the same two fingers and he ran his over hers. A tear ran down his face. Then he stood.

"Goodbye seems to painful. I can only hope my son is a better guardian then I was."

He touched her face and then left, in her mind she felt Amanda's thoughts.

[i] I love you now, tomorrow and forever. Have faith in my son. We shall see it each other again./i

She felt Sarek and Amanda leave the ship. She numbly picked up the brush and finished brushing her hair. After it was wound up and clipped. She stood and placed the clear brush down and her fingers traced it. Amanda had given her this brush a long time ago and was a treasured item. Strong and pure looking like Amanda's heart. Tears still where in her eyes but she refused to give into them. She cleaned her face and straightened her uniform. She stood straight and left her quarters.

Along the way she ran into McCoy. He took one look at her face and frowned. He looked around and noticing they where alone, his voice dropped low and his southern drawl tinged it.

"Merissa you alright darlin?"

She could not help but smile at his accent and words.

"No Leonard I am not, but I will be. Some hurts cut deeper then others."

He pulled her into a empty room and then into his arms. A sob built and when she went to pulled back his arms tightened around her.

"It is ok, please trust me."

At his warm plead, tears feel and her sobs escaped. For a moment she let her-self lean on him, then the pain eased and she calmed.

"Do not tell that arrogant Vulcan about this." She was only half joking.

He tilted up her face with his finger.

"I would never betray you to that green blooded hobgoblin."

Her eyes widen and she burst out with laughter.

"Does he know you call him that?"

McCoy gave a wicked grin.

"Yes indeed."

She let the laughter roll through her as McCoy's deeper laugh joined hers.

"Oh you are so bad."

She stepped back and he offered her a tissue.

"Ever the country gentleman? I think I like you."

She cleaned up her face as he bowed in a courtly way.

"Well darlin I aim to please."

His voice was serious while his eyes dance with a mischievous light.

She rolled her eyes at him and made a snorting sound.

"Oh boy now it is getting deep in here, and here I am without my waders on."

They both grinned as they left the room. Once outside of the room, she brought her mask up. McCoy frowned.

"Why do you do that? Hide who you are?" His voice was soft, but confused.

She took a deep breath

"Protection McCoy, protection. One day when I know you better, I'll tell you a story that will haunt you as it does me."

Her eyes looked straight ahead, as they walked to the bridge and McCoy felt a pressure in his chest at the thought of something so painful happing to her that it caused her to hide from the world. He looked down at the woman walking next to him, despite the moment they just shared, she was still as much of a mystery to him now as she was when she came on, but now he knew she was not as cold as she acted. In fact she was quite the opposite. He hoped that in time he could gain her trust and friendship.

When the turbo doors to the bridge opened. She stepped away from McCoy and to her station. Spock turned his head and waited till she was closer.

"Are you well?" His voice was low and calm.

Her hands tightened behind her back, he may be her guardian but she still did not trust him to truly listen to his heart.

"I am well enough, did your parents say goodbye to you?"

He nodded.

"My father and mother are.." he paused searching for the correct word. "concerned about you."

She gave him a tight smile.

"It does not matter, what is done is done. We just have to go from here." 

She turned and went to go to her station, when his voice stopped her.

"You do not believe in me to perform my duty to you, do you?"

She paused and said in a very low voice that she knew only his sensitive Vulcan ears would hear.

"You have ignored your heart for so long, how is it you believe that now all the sudden you can change that?"

Spock looked at her, even with her back facing him, he could hear every word sharply.

"Because, even though I ignored it, I could still hear it Merissa. Despite all my meditation and training, it has never sensed being felt."

A deep tone was laced in his voice.

Merissa looked over her shoulder at him.

"Never the less Spock, my life is still in your hands."

She walked to her stationed and began her work.

Lillith walked on to the bridge. She found her eyes first drawn to Chekov, he was joking with Sulu over something and she felt a heat flush. He was so handsome with his rich chocolate eyes and sweet face. She found his accent enchanting. As if sensing he was being watched, his eyes turned to her. A soft blush filled his cheeks at he waved hello to her. She felt herself blushing and looked off. Her eyes then went to Merissa. She could sense the pain the woman was hiding. She walked over to her.

"Good Morning Merissa."

Her voice was warm

The woman's cold green eyes looked at her and she felt her self being studied very intensely. She stood still with a soft smile on her face, suddenly the woman's eyes warmed slightly.

"Hello Lillith, I hope this day finds you well?" Though her voice was cool, there was a note of warmth in it.

"It finds me famished, can you go to lunch with me?" Lillith made a pitiful hungry face.

Startled laughter rang from the woman. It was like a wave of warmth, that filled you and made you feel good all over. The other crewmembers found themselves smiling for no reason. Lillith saw out of the corner of her eye Spock watching Merissa with a peculiar look on his face. She smiled with delight.

"Well I would not want you to waste away Lillith, so yes I'll join you for lunch." Merissa shut down her station and with even a look at Spock she walked to the turbo lift. Lillith smiled and followed her. As the doors to the lift opened it reveled McCoy. His eyes lit with delight at seeing them both.

"Where might you two lovely ladies be heading to?" His voice was laced with a southern drawl and Lillith grinned.

"Why to lunch McCoy, wish to join us?" She teased him and Merissa grinned in pleasure.

"Why me have lunch with you two lovely ladies? I do believe I have died and gone to heaven." His blue eyes danced with amusement.

Merissa laughed with pleasure.

"Oh no Lillith now look what you have done. He is all puffed up like a male peacock."

She stood next to him as the door closed and they all laughed.

"Ahh but the male peacock only does that to attract his mate, does this mean your hoping I am doing that for you?"

Merissa blushed and pushed against his arm.

"You McCoy are something else."

She shook her head and when the doors opened they all walked forward. The woman had their arms inter laced with McCoy. He really did strut in and both woman looked at each other with silent laughter.

"Over there?" He nodded at a table near the window.

Merissa nodded and he pulled out her chair for her. She beamed at him and sat. He repeated the action for Lillith and she grinned. All three sat and ordered their food. Merissa pulled out her data pad and McCoy took it from her.

"Com on darlin breath and let work go for a moment." He teased her.

She chuckled and put it down.

"Want my full attention on you huh?"

He gave wicked laugh.

"But of course."

Merissa gave a lady like snort and rolled her eyes at Lillith, who grinned and pretended to be starving. They all began eating. Spock walked up to the table and Merissa seemed to dim some what.

"Hello Spock join us?"

McCoy's voice was kind.

Spock nodded and sat down. His vegetables came and McCoy shook his head.

"I never could understand a race that can not eat meat. But then again like much else with Vulcan's their stomachs are delicate." He hid his grin as he spoke.

Spock raises his eyebrow at McCoy and leaned back.

"And yet McCoy I am still vastly superior to you, so what does that say about you?"

Lillith burst out laughing and Merissa bit the inside of her cheek so she would not laugh.

McCoy took the comment with good humor.

"Vulcan's always seem to have such delusions of grandeur."

This time Merissa did laugh, she tried to make it sound like she was choking but it fooled no one.

Lillith leaned towards her.

"They fight like a old married couple don't they?"

Merissa about choked at the look on both men's faces. She couldn't help it, she laughed out loud and hard. They both looked so stunned and disgusted at the thought. The room seemed to glow with warmth at her laughter. She soon calmed and smiled

"So when do you think the wedding will be Lillith?" She teased.

"Now see here ladies." McCoy blustered and Spock shook his head.

"Woman are the most illogical creatures." His voice was calm, but something warm lurked in the undertone. He ate some of his food as the two woman chuckled,

"No just vastly superior to men." Lillith piped up.

Merissa smiled.

"Amen to that."

The men stayed silent, knowing not to even touch that subject.

Merissa stood and touched Lillith shoulder.

"Thank you for lunch, but I have a appointment with a crewmember."

She looked coolly at Spock and then leaned over and kissed McCoy's cheek.

"Be safe all."

McCoy beamed and blushed at the kiss. Merissa winked at Lillith and left.

"Fascinating" Was all Spock said.

McCoy just grinned like a preened peacock and Lillith fought later. She had a feeling Merissa just kissed McCoy's cheek to tick off Spock. She was delighted with the whole situation. Spock and McCoy went back to eating.

Merissa found herself humming as she walked and shook her head.

"Flesh is the most confusion thing."

She walked to the conference room. She found Miyeal all ready there.

"Sit Lieutenant please?" her voice was kind.

The orange skinned male with glowing yellow eyes sat. He looked mad and hurt at the same time.

"We have come so far but yet racism still exist does it Miyeal?" Her voice was sad.

The young man looked down, his powerful frame vibrated.

"Why?" His voice was heavily accented.

"Ignorance and the want to feel superior. In the end Miyeal it is your decision who will win. You or them? Ensign Blarent is from Tragant, she is more afraid of you then anything else. She is smaller and fragile compared to her, and you vibrate such power it frightens her, but she hides it by acting racist." Her voice was serious.

The young man's head snapped up.  
"What?! I would never attack a woman."

Merissa shook her head.

"She does not know that and has been attacked before. I tell you this not to betray her, but to give you insight. When we let anger control us the truth gets destroyed. Do you understand?"

The younger man looked at her stunned and then nodded.

"You right, I was so angry at her behavior I missed the hint of fear in her eyes when she saw me and the way she shrunk from me. What a fool I have been."  
He stood

"Thank you."

He bowed and left. Merissa blew out a deep breath.

"In some shape or form when it comes to emotions we are all fools.

She looked out the window and feel silent.

Merissa finally stood and walked to the bridge. She felt a tingling along her skin and ran to a quiet room. She sunk to her knees and her skin glowed.

"Yes Grandfather?" her voice sounded like a little girl.

"What troubles you my little one?" His voice was like warm sunshine on a cold day.

"My heart, the Vulcan's will they be able to save themselves? And Spock." Tears fell down her eyes.

"This flesh hurts, it makes me feel lost and weak."

His hand touched her face.

"We all must be tested to show our inner strength, if we are not tested, then how do we know our worth? Flesh hurts but our soul makes us strong. Listen to your heart my little one, the truth whispers to it. As for the Vulcan's yes they will, especially with Sarek and Spock's help. Spock is not as cold as you think him to be, give him a chance to show himself. His and your life are tied, trust in my love and your heart my little one. We are with you always."

She tilted up her head and felt his love through her.

"Forgive me."

His warm laughter filled her.

"Always my little one always."

A sense of unconditional love filled her and then he was gone. She stood feeling stronger. Then she felt a dark oily presence.

"Romulan."

Her voice was strained. They where related to the Vulcan's but that was all. Where Vulcan's were honorable, Romulan's where greedy and cruel. She stood and gathered her power to her. She walked to the bridge, where a Romulan Warbird was decloaking. The ship was on red alert. She stepped forward and Lillith looked at her.

"Your eyes are glowing." Lillith whispered so only Merissa could hear.

Merissa mouthed the words thank you and clouded her powers more. Kirk was demanding they talk to him. Suprisingly enough they did.

The Romulan's screen flicker on, how much they looked Vulcan, but for the cold cruel eyes. They looked at the Captain with contempt.

"We want the Vulcan bastard on your ship."

Kirk laughed.

"Really? And I would give him to you because?"

The Romulan gave a cold smile.

"I'll destroy your ship if you don't. I'll give you one day to think it over."

The screen snapped off. Kirk looked at Scotty.

"Well?"

Scotty gave a sad sound.

"Aye Captain he has the power to do so, they seem to have a anti-matter weapon on their ship."

The ship crew gasp.

"What those are in violation of the treaty how dare they!"  
Kirk roared out.

Lillith touched his shoulder and he calmed somewhat.

Spock steeped forward.

"Captain permission to talk to you, Dr. McCoy and Lieutenant Criton privately?"

Kirk nodded and the people in question left the bridge. The turbo lift was silent and McCoy stood near Merissa, his hand briefly touched hers in silent strength. She looked at him softly then off. The turbo lift opened and they walked to a conference room.

Spock spoke.

"They want me so they can humiliate the Vulcan's, they know I come from a powerful blood line and they think because of my human blood they can break me and make me dishonor my people."

"Well they can't have you Mr. Spock."

Kirk's voice was cold and hard.

"Captain, Jim, it is illogical to sacrifice all for one. They will destroy the ship, just because they can." His voice was calm as always.

McCoy let out a deep sigh.

"Green blooded hobgoblin."

But his voice was sad.

Merissa stood off to the side, despite all the bickering there was a strong bond between the three men. Pain was the undercurrent in the room.

"Spock you do not have to do this."

Her voice was soft.

Spock shook his head knowing her thoughts.

"You have not been flesh long enough to master your powers in the flesh and it could hurt you despite you being Allrane."

Merissa's eyes flashed raw pain, at his seeming betrayal.

"Bastard how dare you."

She spat out and fled the room.

Kirk watched her go stunned.

"Allrane? I thought they where all gone?"

Spock stiffened now knowing why she was mad.

"Captain, McCoy, I should not have told you what she was, but I can not take it back. Never the less, I will go. I will not have this ship be destroyed because of me."

His stiff words gave no quarter. Kirk sighed sadly.

"Then we shall have to rescue you Spock."

"One would hope so Captain."

A faint smile passed Spock's lips as he spoke.

"The question is how?"

McCoy's voice was worried.

Kirk leaned back.

"We will put a transmitter under your skin so we can track you where ever they take you."

Spock nodded.

"Most logical Captain."

He then turned to the window, though he hid it, Merissa's look of raw pain and hissed words hurt him. He had done as asked, he was listening to his heart and this was the price, pain. How he disliked he emotion.

"So what now? Can we give him any weapons before handing him over?"

McCoy spoke in a hard way, hating this.

Spock shook his head.

"Their scanners would find it and they would use it as a reason to hurt me more. We have one day to figure something out."

He nodded to both the men, then left to his room to see what he could figure out. McCoy and Kirk watched him go with haunted eyes.

"What are we going to do Jim?"

Pain laced McCoy's voice.

"I do not know, but whatever we do Bones we better do it fast."

Raw anger boiled in Kirk's blood at the Romulan's, Spock wasn't just his best officer. He was also one of his good friends. Kirk would rather die first then hand his friend over to be tortured. He rubbed his head as a headache came on.

Both men fell silent thinking hard of a way to save Spock.

Spock sat at his desk, his movement's calm thought his mind whirled. He looked up as Merissa tore through the doors. Her green eyes no longer cool but flashing pure rage. Spotting Spock sitting in his chair at the table she let out a low hiss. Spock stood calmly. He was not surprised to see her, though he was a little surprised at how angry she was.

"Lieutenant I was only." That was as far as he got before she slapped him hard.

"You cold blooded Vulcan bastard." She hissed. Her body trembled in rage.

Having rarely ever seen any emotions from her, Spock was almost fascinated with her rage.

"I did the right thing Lieutenant."

Her growl was the only warning he got before she went to hit him again. His hand lightening quick stopped her. He held her hand mobile. She was not human and therefore much stronger then a normal human female. Never the less he was still stronger. He held onto her trembling hand. Her whole body was vibrating a strong rage.

"Enough Lieutenant I have no desire to hurt you." His voice was calm but held a warning.

Her rage filled eyes glared at him.

"Oh I see, no want to hurt me physical but no hesitant, to slice me mentally. You bastard."

Spock's eyes went confused.

"I did the right thing."

"NO!" She screamed.

"You put my life in danger. Do you dislike me so much that you wish me pain?"

Spock's fingers tightened on her wrist as she struggled.

"How so?"

"My species was hunted down to almost extinction. Remember Spock? This is why your family is our guardians. We come to flesh so the we do not forget and we remember to feel." Tears where now falling down her face.

"I knew you disliked me, because you have to feel to be my guardian, but I did not think you hated me."

Spock's hand gentled momentarily stunned at her words.

"I did not know Lieutenant, I meant you no harm."

She screamed in rage as she ripped her hand from his grasp and punched his stomach. Noises of rage and pain came from her as she attempted to lash out at him. Not wanting to hurt her, he used his body to pin her against the wall.

"STOP IT Merissa." Spock voice echoed in the room.

Her green eyes flew to his stunned. Spock had never yelled and nor raised his voice. He had also never called her by her first name.

"Why do you hate me?" Her voice was laced with pain.

"I do not hate you Merissa." He looked at her while he spoke.

"Then why do you purposely go out of your way to not touch me, and you get this almost strained look on your face when I get too close." Tears filled her eyes.

Spock took a calming breath.

"It is not what you think. I repeat I do not hate you. It would be illogical."

A shuddering breath escaped her.

"Let me go you cold blooded bastard."

Spock had heard this many times and it had never bothered him till now. He closed his eyes and moved back from her body. She began to tremble again once she was no longer pinned to the wall.

She smoothed down her uniform and then steadied her hands.

"I do not believe you. It takes a strong emotional reaction to cause you to react the way you do."

Her rage filled eyes looked at him. Something dark lurked in them.

"Don't feel anything, don't react to anything. How can your skin be so warm when your blood is ice."

With no warning she cupped his face and gave him a hard cold kiss as if punishing him.

"You truly are a robot Spock and that is not a complement. You disgust me."

She took two steps away from him, loathing for this man filling her, when he grabbed her arm and spun her back.

"You know nothing about me Lieutenant." His voice was no longer calm and something almost dangerous lurked in it.

His hand tightened around her arm and he pulled her too him. She paused ready for the painful kiss she knew was coming. But as his lips touched hers, the pain never came. His lips through not gentle, where not on hers to cause pain. His other hand cupped the back of her neck holding her in place.

The kiss was filled with hard passion, but not anger and not pain. She trembled under the onslaught of it. When he finally pulled back her eyes opened stunned. His normally cool hazel eyes where clouded with passion and something close to hunger. She swallowed hard confused.

"But you hate me?" Her voice was weak.

"No Lieutenant I do not." His hand went from her neck to her face.

His hand cupped her face as his thumb traced her bottom lip. The action caused her to suck in a deep breath.

"Spock what?" Her voice was confused.

"I have never reacted to another woman the way I do you. You touch both stimulates me and confuses me, hence me pulling back from you. I find my self attracted to you and it confuses me." His voice held almost a tone of wonderment to it.

She slid her hands up to his chest, to both touch him and allow her-self more breathing room.

"I did not know Vulcan's could feel attraction. Your father hid it well."

"We do indeed, as well as love. We just hide it better from the outside world. Besides I am only half Vulcan so I feel it more strongly. I just force it down deeper." His voice was now calm again, but he made no more to step back from her or her touch.

Her eyes went to the large red mark on his face and she blushed.

"I try so hard to control my temper, but it seems you ignite it quite well, but now I am not so sure it is anger instead of passion."

Her eyes looked at him almost lost. Spock felt the pull of them deep inside, a reaction he was not used to.

"I do not like feeling human Merissa."

The tears finally feel from her eyes.

"I could leave and you could pretend this never happened."

His hand reached up and caught a tear. He rubbed the moisture with his fingers.

"No I could not. You have already affected me. Only a fool ignores and an only coward runs from things. I am not a coward and I refuse to be a fool. I may not like the human feelings but I refuse to ignore them."

His eyes looked back at her and he traced a hand down her face.

"Like it or not Lieutenant, there is a bond between us. I am not going any where and neither are you."

He leaned down and gave her a very soft almost sensual kiss. Before she could truly react he leaned back up and left. She sunk to the floor stunned. Sarek had told her that Vulcan's where cold to all but their mates. She had thought him at the time only humoring her in response to her question. Now she knew he was not kidding. She could handle the cold irritating Vulcan he normally was, with no problem.

But this Spock, warm and passionate, would be harder to keep out. Her shields might just fail her this time. She touched her bruised lips and pulled her knees to her chest lost in thought. Why must things be so confusing? But the most pressing thought that came to her, was how to save Spock from the Romulan's. She smiled with pleasured as the answer came to her.

Spock sat on the table as McCoy injected the transmitter under his skin.

"Sorry this will sting Spock."

Spock did not even flinch.

"Indeed?"

He looked at both the men and could feel their worry.

"This is the right thing to do Captain."

Kirk nodded but looked very ticked.

"I am feeding you to the wolves to save my ship Spock."

His voice was haunted.

Spock stood and walked over to him, he touched his shoulder briefly and dropped it.

"It is only logical Captain."

Kirk smiled sadly and they walked to the transporter room. Merissa was waiting there.

"Captain, McCoy, a moment with the stubborn Vulcan."

The two men and Scotty left the room. Spock looked at her.

"This is the right thing to do."

She brought her fingers to his lips

"Shut up you blasted robot."

She slipped her arms around him and hugged him to her. Tears rolled down her face. She was stunned when his arms surrounded her. She leaned on him for a moment then pulled back.

"You are never alone my guardian, I will always be with you."

She leaned up and kissed his cheek. Spock's eyes closed briefly.

"Thank you."

She stepped back as his arms dropped. Her eyes glowed with tears that she was refusing to let fall. McCoy and Kirk walked back in and McCoy pulled Merissa to him. Spock stepped on the transport pad and waited.

"Energize."

Kirk's voice held such pain.

Spock's eyes locked with Merissa, a painful sob escaped her and the tears finally fell from her eyes. Spock felt cut to the core, but his eyes stayed locked with hers a he was beamed out. A soft scream echoed in his ears as he shimmered into the other ship. He knew the sound was Merissa, he bowed his head and knew what was to come next.

"Vulcan bastard on your knees."

Raw pain filled him as they shocked him over and over.

When he came to he was naked except for his pants, his body was stretched at a painful angle. His captor grinned darkly.

"Welcome to hell Spock, I wonder if a Vulcan can scream?"

He lashed out at Spock, his skin tore, but Spock kept his face, flat emotionless.

"I doubt Romulan you'll be the one to find out."

"Oh Vulcan slime you have no idea what I have planned though."

He injected Spock with something and pain ripped through Spock.

Back on the Enterprise Merissa was on her knees screaming.  
"OH GOD they are hurting him."

McCoy held her rocking her back and forth, as Kirk raged.

"Bastards I'll.. I'll"

His hands clenched in pure helpless rage. He tore out of the room and to his room. He threw a glass bottle against the wall. He couldn't remember the last time he was this angry. His door opened and Lillith walked in. She took one look at him and wrapped her arms around her brother.

"It is ok Jim it is ok, I am here."

Her voice was warm with love.

For the first time since she could remember ever. Her older brother leaned on her sobbing.

"His is my friend and I can do nothing as they hurt him, Romulan bastards."

Lillith said nothing, she just held on Jim.

The ship was strangely quiet. All knew what happened, Spock has sacrificed him self to save them. This weighed heavily on the crew.

Back in the transporter room, McCoy helped Merissa up.

"This is not over McCoy, they will pay for breaking their promise to us."

McCoy looked confused.

" Huh what promise?"

She looked up at him and gave him a soft kiss.

"To my people."

Rage made her eyes flash as she left the room. McCoy watched her go he pressed a finger to his lips.

"What a woman too bad she is in love with Spock."

He gave a sad chuckle.

Back on the Romulan ship, ragged screams where echoing in a room, with a badly beaten Vulcan.

The Romulan laughed cruelly

"Had to keep that Vulcan cool with the chemical's stimulating Ponn Farr in you isn't it Oh high and mighty Spock."

Spock hung there by his arms, green blood dripping down his body. Although the Ponn Farr was making it hard to mask his pain, her refused to answer the man.

iHold on Spock just a little longer./i Merissa's voice echoed like a warm breeze in his mind.

It was enough to keep him sane just a little longer as the lash came down over and over again tearing his skin as he screamed in pain.

Merissa shimmered into the quiet room. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she saw Spock. Her eyes flashed pure rage, at the bruises and cuts marking his skin. His arms where help up by energy bracelets and it had to hurt. His muscles where twitching with strain. She fought back her rage at the Romulan's and knelt near Spock. Heat was rolling off him. His blood pooling around her made her hands clench.

She touched his face softly.

"Spock?"

His eyes opened and he made a soft sound

"Get out of here before they come back."

She laughed.

"No I am here to rescue you."

He growled and strained against the bracelets.

"YOU do not understand, they have forced me into Ponn Farr. If you let me go I'll wind up hurting you."

She merely smiled.

"Ahh so that was how they where going to get you to dishonor your family, force you in to Plak tow, then let you go crazy."

She had to give the Romulan's credit. Sadistic they where, but very smart.  
"No matter, they violated many treaties by creating their weapon hence why I am here. I have removed the weapon and all knowledge of it from their minds and computers."  
She stood and gave a wicked smile.

"Bad boys get punished, now for you."

She pushed him under into deep mediation.

"If I take you back to the ship they will know, but I can't leave you alone like this Spock, not till I figure out how to stop the Ponn Farr."

She wrapped her arms around him and flinching as his blood stuck to her skin, rage once again hit her, but if she hurt the Romulan's in rage it would rebound back on her people. She kissed his cheek and they fazed out.

Back on the Enterprise, Scotty's face went confused.

"Captain Spock's not longer on the Romulan ship, he is still alive but I do not know where, and Captain?"

His face went stunned.

"The Anti-matter weapon is gone."

Kirk looked confused then his hand hit his COM.

"Lieutenant Criton to the bridge."

Dead silence greeted him

McCoy said softly.

"Scanners show she is no longer on the ship Jim."

Kirk looked at him

"Blast that woman."

But fear was hidden in his eyes.

Lillith touched Kirk's shoulder and he drew is sister in close to him as the ship feel silent.

Two forms shimmered into a large cave. The cave was very warm and sheltered. She placed the unconscious Spock on the cot. He would awake soon and she did not know what to do with him. She had never been around a grown male Vulcan in Ponn Farr and a part of her was scared. She could not hurt him it was not in her, but he was stronger and faster, so he could hurt her. The question was would he? She left to clean up, having his blood on her was making hard for her to fight her rage. She walked to the back area away from him and slipped off her blood soaked clothes. Tears rolled down her face as his green blood staining her clothes.

She walked into the hot water and rinsed off, she had kept her promise not to hurt the Romulan's but it had cost much of her mental strength. Seeing Spock there tied up and abused had enraged her like nothing else. He was not an animal and they had treated him like one. She floated in the water trying to calm her self, when she sensed motion. She slipped under the water except her head and saw Spock.

She blushed beet red.

"How are you?"

His dark eyes glittered and she could see him fighting the Ponn Farr.

"Better now that I am fear, but you should not have taken me. I am only in control barely, in a couple hours it will get worse."

"I could not let you die."

Her voice was a horse whisper.

He looked at her clothing on the ground and it seemed to all the sudden register that she was naked in the water.

His face flushed a soft green and hunger sharpened his eyes.

" You should not have brought me here Merissa, I am already attracted to you. My body considers you its mate. I do not want to hurt you."

She took a claming breath.

"Your stronger then you give your self credit for Spock, and I am not afraid of you. I need to dress, please turn your body."

He did so stiffly and she quickly dried off and slipped on a dress. She shivered and calmed.

"You need to wash as well, the smell of blood will not help you calm."

She went to walk off and he spun her and pinned her against his larger frame. He gave her a hard bruising kiss.

"When I am like this you should be afraid of me."

He tore off his clothing and she quickly turned embarrassed, boy was he built nicely. She ran out of the room fast. She heard him in the water and relaxed.

She had a hurt uncontrolled Vulcan on her hands what the heck was she going to do? She began to meditate until she felt her skin prickle. She looked up and found Spock watching her the way a predator watches his prey. Her breath caught and she forced calm

"Feeling better Spock?"

Her voice was falsely calm.

He walked to her purposely proving he was dominant.

"I am clean, but my wounds are still raw."

It was odd hearing his voice so low and deep. She stood and grabbed the supplies she guilty took from McCoy's Medbay. She began healing his wounds and then sat back. He looked less in pain but his eyes stared at her in a way that made her body shiver.

She did not know a look could hold such hunger and she was not used to it from her robotic Spock. She stood and handed him a vacuum-sealed tube.

"Eat your body is starved."

Her voice was shaky and a dangerous smile came to his lips at the sound of it.

She closed her eyes and sighed deeply. Oh joy what fun, can this odd day stop now? She leaned back and watched him eat. There was now animal energy in his movements. She smooth down her dress in a nervous motion and noticed his eyes flowed her hands down her frame. She stopped and blushed red again. She was going to need new skin if she kept blushing like this. She backed off and bite down on her lip lost in thought.

"Stop it."

His voice was a growl.

Her eyes looked at him lost.

"What?"

"Biting your lip, your making it bleed and it is making me worse. Do not awaken me more."

His voice was a low hiss and she stopped embarrassed.

"Well crap."

She licked her lip feeling the cut and blood.

Spock let out a low growl and the metal bent in his hand. Merissa let out a laugh.

"That is it, blood. That is how I can help you."

Spock looked at her confused.

"Blood? Explain."

She paused looking trapped and then smiled.

"Your blood, I am going to take some of it."

Spock's breath rushed out of him.

"Why and how will that help."

"Why? Because, it will tame the Ponn Farr. The how, by me biting you. It is close to a matting act and will calm the Ponn Farr and lessen the chemicals in your blood."

"Fascinating."

Even with the Ponn Farr affecting him Spock was impressed with her thoughts. He felt hunger and desire hit him at her words. The thought of her doing this action aroused him. This emotion was new to him and he studied it. She took the plate from him and looked at him.

"Well?"

"It could be dangerous. Your DNA could change a bit to mine and it would bind me more to you."

He spoke as calmly as he could, with the hunger beating at him. His eyes watched her lips.

She sighed.

"I knew about the DNA not about the binding of you to me."

Her shoulders slumped and she paced looking for another way. Spock's voice stopped her pacing.

"It is the only way, but it would not be completed till we where intimate Merissa."

She groaned as she blushed again.

"I seem to do that a lot around you. Blush. I hate it stupid flesh."

Spock gave a dark smile and traveled his hands up her body. She took a deep breath.

"I am becoming rather fond of your flesh."

Her mouth opened at his words and she breathed out shocked.

"That was most illogical Spock."

"No just very male." He brought her body to his closer.

"I am losing my control Merissa."

His voice was so hungry it stunned her.

She pushed him to the cot and sat in his lap. She titled his head back and he shivered.

"I do not know if this will hurt or not Spock."

He nodded at her. She felt her teeth elongate and gasp at the pleasure the sensation brought. Spock traveled his hands to her breast and flicked his fingers over her nipples. She jerked.

"Spock!"

Her voice was stunned.

He gave a low grin.

"I needed to touch you, keeps the Ponn Farr in passion and not anger."

His fingers repeated the action and she whimpered.

"Well I umm, yeah ok."

Her words sounded higher then normal and he gave a hungry laugh. She leaned down and brought her lips to his neck. His scent hit her and she gave a low sound at it. One of his hands caressed her as it slid down her body. She moved her mouth over his neck to where his pulse beat strongly. He growled a low dangerous sound. His hand moved to between her legs and he moved his finger over her nerve spot. She threw back her head in pleasure.

"SPOCK."

His only response was a wicked laugh. She shivered and glared at him.

"How did you?"

He smiled.

"We are taught how to please our mates."

He gave a little boy smile and she shook her head. She leaned back over and traveled her mouth over the vein and felt her teeth ache. She was aroused and it stunned her to realize this. His hand found her center again and began to alternate between vibrating his hand and flicking his finger against her. She whimpered and sunk her teeth into his neck. He let out a low animal moan of pleasure. His blood hit her in a rush. She could feel the chemicals in it, but since she was not yet Vulcan they did not bother her. His fingers picked up speed and her body tightened as pleasure built in her. She took more of his blood into her and felt her body change.

His body arched as his climax came near. She gave his vein one more drink then lifted her head back as they both roared over the edge. When she was again fully conscious, she closed his wound and got off him with rubbery legs. She felt odd and slightly upset.

She felt she had betrayed all she knew because of those nasty Romulan's. Her body was still trembling in the after shocks of pleasure but her heart ached. Spock's breathing was slow and she turned to seem him almost asleep. He had lost a lot of blood. She laid him on the cot and covered him with a heavy blanket. She gave him a shot of copper protein to build up his blood again. Then she left the room shivering.

What had she done? Was it the right thing? She leaned her head against the wall of the cave tired and cold. Her eyes drifted shut and she feel asleep.

Her dreams took her to the Enterprise were they where worried about her and Spock. Kirk and McCoy where trying hard to pinpoint Spock's faint signal. Then to the Romulan ship where they where enraged at losing Spock, and confused as to how? But they were deep in Romulan space and their government was not happy with the ship. She shivered again warm. Deep in her sleep she felt her body being lifted and carried. Then she was pulled against a warm frame and a blanket covered her. A fast heartbeat pulled her deeper into sleep.

When she woke she felt different. She sat up and stretched. She walked to a mirror in the cave and laughed. There was no denying she had Vulcan blood in her. Her ears where pointy shaped and she was taller. Ehh not so bad the height was nice. She could see better and breath better. She felt more alert and her body felt more powerful and less weak. She gave a delighted smile. How nice, she could get to like this Vulcan blood. She walked over to Spock and touched his face. His dark eyes looked at her as he awoke.

"Hello Spock, feel better?"

"Indeed, I thank you for you help."

He sat up in a smooth movement. His wound twinged and he felt some bleed a little.

Seeing his look she scanned his body.

"Sorry I am not as good as this as McCoy."

She went to healing him.

"We need to stay here one more day till your fully healed, but the Romulan's can not threaten the Enterprise again. Their weapon is gone."

He raised his eyebrow and an amused look filled his eyes.

"Fascinating may I ask how?"

She gave a delighted smile.

"They broke their promise to my people by making the Anti-matter weapon, so I merely erased all knowledge of it and the weapon it's self." 

She gave an innocent smile and Spock found him self wanting to laugh.

"I see, my disappearance must have really made them not happy."

She laughed in delight.

"I do believe that would be cause of the steam coming out of their ears."

Spock shook his head having heard that statement from Jim before he knew what it meant.

"Indeed. Is the Enterprise safe.'

She nodded as she pulled out some food and drink from her pack.

"Of Course, you do not think I would leave them to be harmed?"

Her voice was distracted as she searched the bag. Spock watched her. Last night had woken him to her. He now saw her as his mate mental and physically, but he would not tell her this. Although his human half was not happy with this decision, it was what he had decided on. His eyes traveled over her form as heat filled him. He looked off and then looked around.

"Where are we?"

He asked.

"It is called Trista, a old planet my people used to come to, so they could get away. It is hidden and very far away. We are safe here."

She tossed him a container.

"I know Vulcan's hate eating with their hands. Plomeek soup I used to make it for your father."

Spock un-capped it and drank some. It was very good.

"It is my favorite."

He told her.

She blushed.

"I know."

She stood.

"I need to go walking, I'll be back soon. You eat and then take the shake next to you. It will strength your blood and build it back up."

She left and Spock watched her go amused.

Merissa sat down near the water pool. She buried her face in her hands. Her Grandfathers words echoing her head. She was so sure that Spock was cold and robotic, now she was slightly lost. Stupid flesh, she grumbled in her head. She waved out her hands and the water heated. One nice thing was she still had her powers. She slipped into the hot water and sighed. The Romulan's where getting too dangerous. They had forgotten their promise, time for her uncle to visit them and remind them.

She let her energy float.

[i] Uncle?[/i]

[i] Yes dear heart?[/i]

His loving voice echoed in her.

[i] The Romulan's had a Anti-Matter weapon. I removed it from them, but never the less. [/i]

His deep sigh filled her

[i] Despite their blood tie to the Vulcan's they are nothing like them. Time for a visit? Is that what your thinking my dear heart?[/i]

She turned in the water.

[i]Yes Uncle. [/i]

[i] I agree.. Are you well? You heart seems heavy [/i]

She gave a soft laugh

[i] I am just trying to figure out that Vulcan. [/i]

Her uncle gave a knowing laugh.

[i] Ahhh good luck dear one, take care.[/i]

Then he was gone.

"Typical man no help."

She stood and dried off. She walked back over to where Spock was meditating. She gave a deep yawn and lay down on the cot. She knew Vulcan's did not like being bothered when meditating. She closed her eyes and drifted into sleep. A little while later, in a deeper sleep, she felt a hard frame curl up next to her. A blanket was pulled over her as strong arms held her. She fell into a deep sleep.

Spock held Merissa close to him. This was most illogical. These needs to be near her and know she was safe. Was this love? He found him burying his fingers in her fiery hair as he let him-self go in a deep healing sleep.

Merissa woke in Spock's arms and blushed. She got up and dressed. She was packing up the supplies when she heard him.

"Morning Spock."

She looked at him, he was healed and back to good health.

"Ready to head back?"

"Morning and indeed, when will we go?"

He watched her clean up.

She picked up the last thing.

"Now, hold this."

She held out the large bag and he took it. She blushed and stepped close.

"You're going to have to, um hold me to you."

Spock smiled internally and held her body close to him.

"Like this?"

He teased her, he delighted in watching the red flush come to her cheek and could of swore she mumbled something about him being a pointy ear brat.

"Umm yeah ok."

She took a deep breath and flushed, as she could smell him.

iBlasted all, why me? [/i]

She flashed them into her room on the Enterprise and looked up at him. His warm hard frame felt good against hers and she frowned.

"You can let me go now Spock."

She made her voice cool, despite her heart pounding.

"Indeed? Pity that was rather nice."

He hid his smile.

She gave a low growl and pushed against his chest, it was like pushing against a brick wall.

"Much like his head." She grumbled.

"Excuse me?"

Spock asked confused.

"Never mind hobgoblin just let me go."

She hissed at him and his strong arms dropped.

She stepped back and cleared her throat.

"I have a spare uniform in the bag, you might want to put it on. I don't think Kirk would like you walking around here with no shirt on."

Her eyes went to his chest and heat filled her. Her breath hissed out and her eyes flickered to Spock's. Something very smug and male was reflected in eyes. She rolled her eyes at him and walked out of the room.

Once in the refresher, she laid her head on the sink and sighed.

"Shoot me please?"

She dressed quickly and walked back out there. He was dressed and looked at her.

"Ready Merissa?"

She nodded.

"Let's go Lieutenant Commander Spock."

He laughed, she looked at him stunned.

"Nice try Merissa."

His voice was low and had a sensual quality to it. He gave her pouting lips a swift kiss and walked out of her room.

Merissa steamed, ticked.

"Oh I am so going to get him."

She plotted as she left the room walking near him. She ignored him as left rode the turbo lift to the bridge. Spock watched her amused. Whether she knew it or not, she was already his. He was going to enjoy this very much.

The door opened and Kirk looked up surprised.

"Well look what the cat dragged in."

Lillith heard him and saw Merissa. She ran to Merissa and hugged her.

"Your back I was so worried."

Merissa hugged her back.

"Well what can I say? I just love causing trouble."

Lillith laughed and stepped back

"What about the Romulan's?"

Merissa gave a wicked smile.

"Oh I think you do not need to worry about them for a while. My uncle and them are having a talk."

She winked at Lillith and then went to her station humming. Spock watched her amused knowing who here uncle was.

"Fascinating."

McCoy and Kirk watched them both, they looked at each other and a silent message passed through the old friends. They smirked and nodded.

"Chekov continue on our present course ahead mark one."

Merissa rubbed the back of her neck as the muscles ached from being bent over at this odd angle. She had been reading the personnel reports to long. She stood and stretched; her back popped and she let out a groan. Fingers went to her back and worked out the spasm.

"Oh that hurts and feels good McCoy thank you."

She sighed softly

"I am surprised you're not on the ground with the sound of that pop."

He teased.

She leaned into his hand and chuckled.

"One day I'll learn proper body mechanics, till then you'll just have to patch me up McCoy."

She whimpered as a headache hit her.

"Leonard, dear God it hurts."

He scanned her and frowned.

"Lets get you to sick bay."

He helped her to the turbo lift and then to Medbay. She sank on the bed and he pulled the machine up scanned her brain.

"A certain region of your brain has become active. And since your brain has two DNA's I am unfamiliar with, I can't tell you why or how."

She looked at him and touched his face.

"I am the most difficult patient aren't I?"

He brushed the hair off her face.

"Nah just the most beautiful."

She laughed then groaned.

"Oh don't do that to me."

He gave her a pain shot and watched as her body relaxed. She began to sing softly and McCoy grinned.

"Nice voice there Florence Nightingale."

She gave a little girl giggle.

"I love to sing, you won't tell will you?"

Her pale face scared McCoy, but he did not let her know.

"Your secret is safe with me my lady."

She smiled at him and her body trembled.

"Something is wrong McCoy. I can feel it."

"Shh you just rest now, and leave the doctoring up to me."

His voice was soothing as he traced his hand over her face.

He gave her a shoot to pushed her under, as he ran test on her.

A couple hours later Spock walked in.

"Doctor where is she?"

If McCoy did not know better, he could of swore the Vulcan looked almost.. worried.

"Sleeping and no I do not know what is wrong with her. I have run ever test I know of, but with her now Vulcan DNA and the Allrane DNA I have no clue."

He sounded gruff, but fear was laced under his words.

"She is running a high temperature and her body is acting chemical off."

He left the room to go back to his office. Spock watched him go then walked to Merissa's bed.

Seeing they where alone, he kissed the top of her head.

"Do not die on me."

His voice held pain.

He straightened and sat down in a chair near her bed. He pulled out his data pad and began making reports. Both men stayed there for a long time neither wanted to leave her alone in that room. Spock went into a deep mediation and McCoy feel asleep at his desk.

During the night a glowing mass came near Merissa's bed.

"So my children have come back to me? I wonder to bring joy or pain?"

It had a deep musical male voice.

"Ahh this one is not really my child more of a daughter of a friend."

It reached out and touched Merissa's forehead.

"If you want healing you'll have to come to me little one."

Spock shifted and the energy light vanished. Merissa moaned in her sleep, her subconscious having heard the words was not pleased at the manipulation the old one was pulling on her.

Spock sat up hearing her moan and walked over to her. He touched her face and her green clouded eyes opened. She gripped his hand.

"Do not let him use me as a way to hurt you all."

She pleaded and Spock looked confused.

"He means well but is confused by his own power."

Her hand gripped his tight, seeing her fear; he bought her hand to his chest and sat down near her.

"What ever it is your afraid of I promise to be careful of."

Her green clouded eyes looked at him with trust and she slipped back into sleep. Spock leaned back in the chair and drifted into sleep still holding her hand to him.

The next day, she was till running a fever and McCoy was frustrated.

"Jim I can't tell you want is wrong with her nor how to fix it, but she is getting worse."

Kirk walked over to her bed.

"Merissa can you hear me?"

Merissa shifted in the bed and her hand came out. Kirk gripped it and her eyes fluttered, but they where clouded and pain filled. Kirk sat down and it felt like a huge weight was on his shoulders.

"Don't die we need you, I have decided I like brain pickers after all."

He joked and she gave him a weak smile, her hand squeezed his hand.

"That is because I am not picking yours."

Her voice was weak and her eyes drifted close.

He gave a soft chuckle but tears he refused to let fall, made his eyes shine.

"If you get better I'll let you pick mine."

He spoke in a softly pleading voice.

He sat there near her for an hour, then had to go back to the bridge. Chekov came in with Lillith. Lillith paled at Merissa lying there so still and Chekov gathered her to him.

"She vill get vetter, ve know this. She is stronger then ve give her credit for."

Lillith let him hold her as they stayed there talking and hoping Merissa would open her eyes.

Back on the bridge, it was strangely quiet. Kirk was thinking.

"How long has she been here now for Spock? A couple months?"

Spock did not need to ask whom the she was that the Captain was talking about.

"Almost Six months Captain."

"And yet it feels like forever. I am ashamed at how I did not want her here at first."

His voice was raw.

"Captain it is illoigical to try to wish to redo the past, all we can do is change the future."

He said calmly.

"Yes but what if she is not in the future?"

Kirk saw Spock flinch at his words and felt ashamed.

"Forgive me Spock for forgetting I am not the only one that cares about her."

"Indeed Captain."

Spock's voice was soft.

The red alert flashed on

"INTRUDER INTRUDER ALERT"

A glowing energy mass came on to the bridge and then formed into the shape of a handsome man wearing Greek robes.

"Ahh my children have come home. Welcome and be glad."

His warm voice rumbled out and the crew stood at him stunned.

Kirk groaned silently.

"Oh no now what?"

Hearing Kirk the Man smiled.

"So much weight you have on your shoulder Captain. You doubt my good will?"

Kirk crossed his arms over his chest and merely looked at the man.

Warm laughter escaped the man as he moved.

"I am Omadras, if I show I mean you goodwill will you give me a chance?"

Kirk shook his head feeling trapped.

"It depends what goodwill?"

The smile that crossed Omadras face was a warm as the sun.

"You have a important member of the crew laying in sick bed she is dying is she not?"

Uhura sucked in a deep painful breath. Sulu next to her touched her hand, but pain reflected in his eyes as well.

Kirk stiffened and his eyes went cold.

"What does that have to do with you?"

Omadras smiled again.  
"Give me a promise that I can stay with you for a couple days to prove my-self and I'll heal her completely."

His voice was like warm sunshine on a cold rainy day.

Kirk hit the com.

"McCoy how is Merissa?"

McCoy's voice came over the com sounded tired and frustrated.

"Worse Jim I do not think I can save her. God help me."

Kirk pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Thank you Kirk out."

He looked at Omadras.

"I agree under one condition. You will not hurt the crew or ship."

His voice was steal.

Omadras smiled and the spot near his feet glowed. Merissa's pale form shimmered in. He leaned over and placed his hand on her face and the other over her heart.

"I draw the sickness from this body. I command it to leave."

An oily red haze came from her body. He took his glowing hands and threw pure energy into it, then it was gone. Merissa's skin turned back into a healthy shade and her breathing eased.

She opened her eyes and looked at Kirk and then Spock.  
"What? Why am I on the floor of the bridge?"

Omadras touched her shoulder and she turned.

"Are you better young one?"

She took in a deep breath.

"Yes but I do not like you using me s a key to get Kirk to let you stay here."

He looked at her kindly.

"I did not. I merely showed the Captain I mean no harm."

He held out his hands palms up in attempt to pacificate her.

She sighed and stood.

"I know who you are old one, take care what you do here, they are not used to the likes of you."

He laughed with delight and kissed her cheek. A blush creep up her cheeks.

"Ahh I have not been near such a beautiful fascinating woman in a while. Perhaps I am need of a mate again?"

She turned beet red and stepped back.

"Is that a offer or a demand?"

Her voice was whip cold.

He laughed so hard it rippled through the ship.

"Neither, a mere thought, beautiful one."

He traced a finger down her face.

Her body stiffened and she stepped back again, her eyes flashing.

"Enough Omadras, this is not part of the bargain."

Kirk warned.

Spock stepped forward and escorted Merissa away from Omadras. Omadras clapped his hands together.

"Now show me your ship kindly Captain? I would love to see how far my children have come?"

Kirk gave a deep sigh and escorted him to the Turbo lift. He looked at Merissa as the doors shut with worry and she nodded to him signaling she was fine. The doors shut with a soft hiss.

Spock touched her shoulder.

"Are you well?"

She nodded.

"He did as he promised he healed me, but Spock, he has great power and is not all together in control of it. Be weary of him."

"Indeed?"

He looked at the turbo lift deep in thought.

Inside the turbo lift Kirk was praying for control as the man talked to him about times past.

"Once my people walked along your planet as Gods, but we where foolish and demanded so much from your people with not enough given in return. They rebelled and we left seeing our errors. I come now to you only seeking your love and understanding."

His voice was so warm; Kirk was almost pulled into it.

"Is that so?"

He moved out of the turbo lift and escorted the man along the ship.

Omadras seem to find delight in all.

"As energy I can move anywhere I want with out the use of ship, but Captain I am proud of you. You have all come so far despite our failures." 

Kirk gave him a smile and pointed out the rec. room and then the dining room. He showed him the Medbay and then the engine room.

Scotty hovered like a protective mother in the room making sure Omadras touched nothing. Kirk had to bite his inner cheek so he would not laugh was Scotty's actions.

"And what does this do?"

Omadras asked kindly already knowing the question, but wanting to put Scotty at ease.

"That is the matter converter we use to have power."

Scotty's accent deepened with pride.

Omadras winked at Kirk.

"She is a fine ship there. You have done a good job with her Mister Scott."

Scotty puffed up with pride and took Omadras around the room pointing out different things. Kirk yawned tired. It had been a hard week, it seemed there was never time to relax and take it easy.

Omadras looked up and hearing Kirk's thoughts a kind smile came to his face.

"I have just come up with a brilliant idea. You children work too hard. For these next couple days while I am here. You all will relax while I watch over the ship."

Kirk jerked.

"Now just a minute here Omadras."

Omadras waved him off.

"No need to thank me my child. It will be my pleasure."

Kirk started to argue when Omadras waved out his hands and a golden glow settled over the whole crew.

"Be at peace and live your hearts desire. For the next couple days. I will take care of you all."

Kirk's face became peaceful and happy. He let out a laugh of delight. The rest of the crew started laughing without knowing why.

Back in the bridge seeing the glow Merissa groaned.

"Oh no Omadras tell me you did not?"

She watched the normal orderly and trained crewmembers start laughing and play around. Some began dancing and singing. Others just goof off and had fun.

"Oh no."

She gave a half laugh and sighed frustrated.

Spock looked more at ease and relaxed then anyone had ever seen him. Merissa turned to him.

"Umm Spock how do you feel?"

Spock looked at her with emotion.

"Better then I ever remember feeling."

Merissa shook her head and shimmered out and into the Engine room.

"Omadras what have you done? They are going to be so mad at you when this wears off."

Omadras kissed her cheek.

"None sense they need this as do you."

He waved out his hand and her sexless outfit was gone.

In its place was a soft green, Greek goddess outfit. It was silk and hugged her curves like a lover's hand. She turned bright red.

"Oh no change me back."

She whispered.

"Oh please for my pleasure? Have I truly done anything wrong?"

He pleaded and she sighed deeply.

"No but I am not comfortable. Never the less, it is a small thing you ask for, I ask for favor in return for your request."

She said formally.

He nodded.

"Yes?"

"You conferee to me before doing anything to this ship and if something dangerous happens you release them immediately."

Her voice was kind.

He laughed with warmth.

"Of Course dear one. Now walk with me?"

He held out his arm in a courtly way.

She rolled her eyes and placed her hand in the crook of his arm. He walked out of the Engineer room and along the ship.

The ship was in total chaos, people where acting like total fools. Laughing, joke, teasing and some where making out in the halls. 

Merissa side stepped the couple making out and ground her teeth. Oh yes the crew was not going to be happy once the spell wore off, but she knew Omadras had meant no harm.

She spent a couple hours walking along the ship with Omadras as he laugh with delight at the actions of the unbalanced crew. There were some fights that she put a stop to and glared at Omadras.

"Whoops let me remove all hostile intent."

He waved out his hands and the ship felt calmer.

She could not help it. She gave a laugh of pure delight.

"You my dear old one are very bad. You mean well, but something tells me this spell will not hold some of the crew for very long. They are used to being in control and will not like being out."

She sensed something and her face went worried.

"I have to go."

She fazed out and into the Medbay. Nurse Chapel was playing with the hypo shot with a handsome man.

"Crap."

She removed the hypo shots and pushed the two people out. They both left giggling like kids. She locked up the medication and shots. She then went around and locked anything that could hurt people. She waved out her hands and all the weapons around the ship disappeared from the ship and into a locked room.

She growled.

"I have been reduced to a frikken babysitter. How unbecoming."

She tilted her head up when warm arms circled around her waist.

"Now Darlin tell the good doctor what is wrong?"

McCoy's accent was deeper and she laughed.

"Wrong my good man? What makes you think that?"

She teased but she was uneasy, how affected was McCoy?

"Well your groan and look of irritation was a sign even a none doctor could miss."

He teased and gave her waist a squeeze.

"Lord you're on the tiny side. You have lost weight the last couple days. I miss the curves."

She blushed and tried to think of a way out of this with out hurt McCoy's feelings.

"I was sick Leonard remember? I am sure the irritating curves will come back. Sadly they always do."

She mocked groaned.

One of his hands moved from her waist and just as she relaxed he brushed her hair aside off her neck and placed a warm kiss on her shoulder.

"I simply adore that dress darlin and your curves, no need to fuss."

[i] CRAP [/i]

Rd lights sounded in her head. She forced her self to relax.

"Now Leonard you charming thing. You always know what to say to make a girl fee better."

Her mind raced and she turned his arms.

"Such a charmer. How are you feeling?"

He looked down at her and his eyes flickered to her lips.

"Why just fine sugar and you?"

He leaned in closer.

She scrambled in her mind to figure out what to do.

"Worried about the Captain."  
She said hoping to distract him.

"Now don't worry your pretty little head about him. Jim is a big boy and can take care of him self. You just relax and trust in the good doctor."

His voice was warm velvet as he lowered his lips and gave her a deep kiss.

Although he was skilled in kissing, she felt only a glimmer of passion; it would seem she was tied deeper to that blasted Vulcan then she thought. She leaned into the kiss waiting for the right moment and then leaned back.

"As tempting as your kiss is Leonard, I am indeed a virgin, dear one."

She said sweetly.

McCoy looked at her with desire then her words filtered through him and he gave a deep smile, his blue eyes twinkling.

"Then Darlin we will take it slow."

He kissed her hand and stepped back.

She let out an internal sigh.

"Come along charmer lets find the Captain."

She walked with McCoy as he flirted with her shamelessly. They lateral ran into Spock and Kirk.

Kirk grabbed them both and dragged them into a room.

"How do we stop this? How do we stop this Omadras?"

He looked agitated.

She looked at Spock who looked almost jealously at McCoy's arm around her. She sighed and stepped away from McCoy's body.

"Jim please breathe and relax."

Kirk looked at her and laughed.

"Don't you look like some Greek Goddess? He was serious about mating with you?"

She growled embarrassed.

"His people closely relate to mine. But he is harmless."

Kirk growled looking pissed.

"I do not believe you, help me take him out."

Merissa gapped at him and Spock stiffened.

"Jim that is most inappropriate."

Spock warned softly

Merissa shook her head.

"No Captain I will not. I refuse."

Kirk looked at her stunned.  
"You will not?"

He was so hurt; but he hid it by being mad.

"You betray me Merissa?"

He stepped back.

"No Kirk merely pointing out the truth you can not see due to being affected. He did not mean harm, he did not know his power would do this. Yes it was wrong but he meant only to help. I will not condemn a innocent man."

Her voice was kind.

"I do not believe you. I think you like being a goddess and want to remain so."

His eyes raked her body dressed in fine silks coldly.

McCoy sucked in a deep breath.

"Jim that was out of line.."

But before McCoy could finish, without thought Merissa slapped Kirk hard

She stood at her full height. Spock shifted, as he felt her power build.

"Merissa don't"

Her cold eyes looked at Spock, then her blazing eyes glared at Kirk.  
"I AM NO MANS TOY."

Her skin began to glow.

"I hide my true self from you and the entire Enterprise to protect you, and you dare insult me KIRK?!"

Her laughter was cold and she flung out her hands. Her shields dropped and the Merissa they knew was gone.

"I am Merissa Criton the Great, Great, Great Granddaughter of the first Allrane. My power is so deep in me that I breathe it. If I wanted to I could turn you all into my willing slave."

She stepped near Kirk, her skin was like flowing silk, her hair like a warm glowing fire. Kirk, McCoy and Spock shivered in male reaction. Her eyes glowed green silken fire and they burned through Kirk.

"If I wanted"

Her voice was a low seductive whisper, she reached out and touched Kirk's face and he shivered in pleasure.

"I could make you mad for me. On your knees.. NOW ALL of you"

McCoy and Kirk feel to their knees. Spock's body shivered. Her green eyes looked at him.

"You defy me Spock?"

Her hand caressed his face and his eyes went deep with hunger.

"No I seek to save you. You are my other half. You are the fire in my blood and the power of my heartbeat. I seek to save you, please do not do this."

His voice was deep with emotion

She laughed coldly.

"If I told them to kill each other they would. Wouldn't you Kirk? You'll do anything for me."

Kirk nodded.

"Anything. Anything just touch me Merissa."

At his words her body jerked and she fell back.

Shame filled her and raw pain. She walked to the wall as raw sobs built in her.

"And yet it is not real none of it. Not Spock's words of love and nor yours of passion. It is only my power that makes you speak so. You do not feel it in your heart."

Her shields fell back down and she sat there with her head in her hands as raw sobs escaped from her. McCoy and Kirk jerked, as the power she held over them was gone. The spell Omadras had cast over the crew was no longer affecting Kirk, Spock or McCoy. For a brief moment McCoy glared Kirk with a look of raw anger. Then he gathered Merissa in his arms and took her out, as sounds of broken whimpers escaped her.

Kirk sunk into a chair.

"Dear God what have I done?"

His voice was haunted.

"What have I done?"

Spock sat down next to him; his normally calm face reflected pain.

"You were unbalanced due to Omadras power, but what she said was true. He does not know what he is doing is wrong."

Kirk looked at his friend and first officer.

"My God Spock, I hurt her so badly. I reacted out of false anger and then out of false passion. I have never felt anything like that. I wanted so badly to touch her, to feel her skin against mine and I would done anything for it."

Spock nodded.

"She is a Allrane and unmated, such is her power. She protects us from it."

Kirk gave a sad smile. He re-though over the fiery confrontation and remembered Spock's words as he tried to calm Merissa.

"I did not think Vulcan's could lie no matter what."

His wise eyes looked at Spock.

Spock nodded his head and took a breath.

"We can not, what I said to her was the truth, and there in lies the problem. I did not know I felt that way till I spoke it. Now having spoke it I am.."

He looked at the window.

"lost, not a emotion I like at all."

Kirk touched Spock's shoulder and smiled sadly.

"Give her time Spock, hopefully she will forgive us."

Spock made a sound that sounded a lot like pain.

"I can only do a very human thing and that is hope Jim."

Back in Medbay, Merissa sat in McCoy's lap sobbing.

"Forgive me Leonard forgive me."

She kept saying over and over in a broken voice.

McCoy gathered her to him tightly and kissed her cheeks then forehead.

"There is nothing to forgive. I know why you did what you did. Jim was way over the line, dam him."

He rocked her back and forth.

"My job is to protect you all, did I fail Leonard?"

Her voice was almost child like.

McCoy flinched in pain.

"No Darlin you did not, I promise."

Her face tilted back to look at him.

"I was young and had come with Sarek to earth. He had meet Amanda and was falling in love with her. I was lost and alone. I meet this man, who seemed sweet and kind. We became friends. I trusted him and showed him who I was. He went insane. He beat me then he raped me. Now you know why I wear mask."

She shivered in pain.

"Do you fear me now?"

McCoy's stomach rolled at her words.

"Dear God I did not know men like that still existed."  
His face went stunned at her next words.

"Fear you? Why would I? You can not help your powers, and your heart is one of the most beautiful I have ever had the pleasure to know Merissa."

Merissa gave him a soft kiss and then rested her head on his chest. She let his heart lull her to sleep. McCoy carried her to a bed and placed her down. He covered her with a warm blanket and stayed there holding her hand, as tears rolled down his face.

Spock walked into the room and sat down.

"Is she alright?"

His eyes flicker to McCoy's hand holding Merissa's and off.

McCoy shook his head.  
"Kirk hurt her and we did not help. I tired to seduce under the influence of the spell and I am not happy with my self."

Spock nodded stiffly.

"That is understandable."

McCoy gave a low laugh.

"Relax Spock, she resisted me and now I know why. She loves you whether she will admit it or not."

Spock looked at Merissa's sleeping form.

"You do not know that Doctor."

McCoy stood and went to take out the supplies again.

"We shall see Spock, we shall see."

Kirk was still sitting in the room where Spock had left him when he heard laughter. Lillith and Chekov walked into the room laughing. Chekov drew Lillith to him and gave her a very sweet kiss.

Kirk stood and said in a very brotherly voice.

"Do I need to take you out side Chekov."

Both Lillith and Chekov jumped.

"Erm no Vaptain. I was just umm well I was.."

Lillith rolled her eyes.

"Oh hush big brother. I am a grown woman and Chekov won't do anything to me I do not want him to do."

Kirk stared down at her, but unlike the rest of the crew she was not afraid. She wiggled out her tongue at Kirk and dragged the stammering Chekov out of the room.

"Could this day get any worse?"

He groaned and rubbed his head.

Out side the room Chekov was being pulled away.

"Shouldn't ve tell him or umm well."

"Tell him what?"

Lillith laughed.

"I am 22 years old. I can't have my overbearing brother tell me who to date and not to date."

"Vell he is the Vaptain, but I suppose so. Anyone tell you that you are beautivel Lillith?"

He said shyly.

She gave him a warm kiss.

"Yes but it means something sweeter coming from you Chekov."

They walked off laughing with pleasure.

Omadras was on the bridge watching over the ship like he told the crew he would, when a pale Merissa walked on to the ship.

"You have to stop the spell, it is causing problems."

He moved smoothly and took in her uniform.

"You removed the clothing why?"

She tilted up her head and he frowned at her raw tear filled eyes.

"Because even though the Captain is a good man, he is still a fool at times."

Omadras looked upset.

"What did he do?"

Merissa took a calming breath.

"He has been fighting your spell. I knew he would. He is too used to being in charge to let someone else tell him what to do on his ship. He wanted me to attack you and make this stop I refused. He lashed out at me thinking that you could make me a goddess and saying that was what I wanted bad enough to betray them."

Omadras made a low hiss in his throat.

"Foolish child, I will punish him."

Merissa touched Omadras arm.

"No he was unbalanced by your spell, paranoid. You have to accept responsibility in this as well my dear friend."

Her words where harsh but her voice was kind.

"Humans do not like having their free will taken away, they are to stubborn and passionate. Kirk being the Captain resents it more then others more innocent then him. I know you meant no harm, because I know you. Never the less this must end."

She wiped at the tears on her face, as Omadras took a long breath.

"I meant no harm Dear one."

She turned and gave him a hard hug.

"I know but humans have been controlled before, freedom is one of the things they will kill and die for. Can you blame them?"

He shook his head.

"Should I leave?"

She gave him a warm smile.

"No I know how lonely it can be, please stay, but release the crew of this spell."

He kissed the top of her head.

"As you wish little one."

He waved out his hand and the golden glow surrounding the crew was gone. Most stood there where they were for a moment stunned. Then walked to their quarters trying to make sense of the behavior they had showed over the last day and a half.

The main crew came slowly to the bridge. First Sulu came who had been in the lift sword playing. They where followed by Scotty and McCoy. Soon came Spock and Chekov, and finally Kirk.

Kirk saw Merissa and took a deep breath.

"I am more sorry then you know. I was out of line and I hope someday you'll forgive me, please?"

For a proud man this was hard for him.

Merissa looked at him and nodded.

"I understand why you did it, but it does not make it hurt less. Give me time to heal."

She stood and walked to her chair. Spock 's station was next to hers and he walked over to it then paused. He walked over to Merissa and leaned down.

"Are you sure you are all right Lieutenant?"

He asked very softly.

Her green eyes looked at him and the urge to touch him was strong.

"I will be, what happened was a mistake. I shall never repeat it."

Spock touched her hand briefly and looked into her eyes.

"Do not be so illogical as to think you will not make mistakes Merissa."

Her hand trembled and she removed her hand from his.

"Well since I am not Vulcan, there is no need to try and be perfect."

He merely raised his eyebrow at that.

"Indeed?"

She gave a saucy smile and winked.

"Oh go back to your station, and behave."

"You are most illogical Lieutenant."

His voice was calm but something warm akin to laughter flashed in his dark eyes.

She bit the inner part of her cheek so she did not laugh, but inside she was trembling, today had been taxing. She made the entry that she need to make and then stood. She exited the bridge and went walking. Most of the crew was beginning to get back on schedule and though they where confused, they where getting it together very well.

She came to the window that looked out the back of the ship and she shivered cold. Something was whispering in her. Her hands where shaking. She could smell and feel everything. She quickly ran to her room. What was going on? The urge to call Spock to her was strong. She turned down the lights to her room and then turned up the heat. She slipped out of her uniform and into a slight dress.

Sitting on the edge of the bed. She looked out the window with unseeing eyes.

Spock walked into the darkened room.

"Merissa?"

"Here Spock."

Her voice was low and something in her tone made him stand straight.

"It is darker in here then normal."

He looked around still seeing perfect.

"You should know better then I we do not need the light, as human's do Spock"

She moved behind him and smiled.

Spock felt her and turned his head,

"What is wrong?"

"Wrong? Oh Spock I feel awake and alive, but at the same time almost irrational. So you tell me?"

Her voice was much lower then normal.

Spock looked into her eyes, they where dilated and heat was pouring off her.

"It would seem you're in the female version of Ponn Farr."

A low laugh rumbled out of her.

"Forgot to mention that when I asked you what being a Vulcan meant didn't you Spock?"

There was a dangerous note in her voice.

"It was not intentional I assure you."

He moved very carefully, knowing that him being male and Vulcan would make her pull to him much stronger.

"What do I do to make it go away?"

She stepped closer to him.

"You have to mate. Woman can not fight to make it go away unlike men, and you do not have the mental training to mediate through it, even the most advanced Vulcan would barely be able to."

He spoke in a low tone.

He did not wish to hurt her and if he allowed her instincts to control her, when she came through she would feel betrayed and may not forgive him. His body rebelled against his thoughts wanting him to clam her as his mate.

"I am sorry about this Lieutenant I did not mean to fail you in this."

He watched her move closer to him.

"You can fix this? Make it go away?'

She moved towards him again in a very sensual way.

She was giving off female Vulcan pheromones and Spock felt them fill his lungs.

"Yes but you will not like this action once you are in control again."

"I will not be in control again till I do this."

Her hand raised and rested on his chest.

"You smell good Spock. You always have. Why is that?"

Spock felt heat filter through him at her words.

"Biologically we are aroused to mate through our senses, one such sense is scent."

She gave a sirens smile.

"Always so logical Spock, when are you not?"

She leaned up and nuzzled his neck. Heat made his body quicken.

"I try never not to be illogical."

But his voice was not calm.

She moved her hands under his shirt and her breath whispered out of her.

"Your body feels like hard steel with rough silk over it for covering. I wonder how it taste?"

Spock found himself sucking in a deep breath.

"Merissa I am trying to stop this action, you are not helping."

She gave a seductive laugh.

"I do not wish to help Spock, I wish to taste your skin."

She leaned up and nibbled at his neck. Spock's hands tightened on her shoulders.

"Merissa you must stop. I am not in Ponn Farr my self, but my body and deep instincts want me to claim you as a mate. You are not ready for this and I do not wish for you to hate me once the Ponn Farr is sedated."

She bit his neck gently and he almost moaned.

"I won't hate you Spock, makes this heat go away."

"No you must stop this now."

He pushed at her and she moved fast. In a smooth motion she hit him a way that made him land on the floor. He was not hurt but stunned. He had been so busy trying not to hurt her; he had not been ready for her action.

She used her body to pin him to the floor, her scent and heat seeped into him and he felt a tremor rip through him.

"No Spock I will not stop, are you going to hurt me to stop me?"

His dark eyes looked into hers.

"I can not hurt you, it would destroy me to do so. We protect our mates even at the cost of our own lives."

She leaned her head down and kissed him fully on the lips. He had given her a kiss a while ago, but that was different. It was one thing to kiss some one, another to be kissed and hers held such desire. She bit at his lip and his mouth opened to hers. She danced her tongue with his and the kiss became passionate. She slipped off his shirt and nibbled at his shoulders and then down to his ribs.

"I think Spock, I like the way you taste. Cool and almost coppery."

She nipped at his ribs and he let out a low sound.

"Merissa please, I can not force you to stop, but if you do this and hate me tomorrow, you will have destroyed me."

He pleaded with her one more time.

Her green eyes looked at him and she gave him another kiss, though this one was laced with hunger, there was a deeper emotion in it.

"I promise I will not hate you."

She stood and let her dress slip down her body.

"Take me Spock claim me as yours."

Spock's control slipped and he picked her up and placed her on the bed. Those that they want to be affected, where the only ones that affected the Vulcan's, but once they had let that person in, they could not force them out. By opening his heart to her and allowing her to take his blood, he was vulnerable to her. His hands traced her skin and hunger beat at him. But she was pure of body and had never been touched by a male before despite her being raped. He touched her skin arousing her. His lips found her breast and began arousing her more. She began to whimper and tremble under him.

"As you wish Merissa."

He said with a very low voice.

He learned the different texture of her skin and the different way to make her feel pleasure. Her skin was warm satin under his lips and she tasted faintly of something sweet and musky. He placed himself at her entrance and slowly slid into her once he knew she was properly aroused. When she was still too tight. He pulled her nipple into his mouth and sucked hard. She screamed out and arched her hips allowing him into her deeply. Her nails bit into his back and his eyes went dark with hunger.

"This will hurt only for a moment My Ashaya"

He pushed deep in her and then he began a rhythm as old as time, he arched her hips and made sure she reached her climax before he did. As she rippled around him, he growled out his release and made sure to catch himself before he crushed her.

She curled up next to him and sighed on pleasure.

"I love you."

She said very drowsily and fell asleep.

Spock gathered her body close to him and almost stopped breathing.

"I hope when you awaken, you still feel that way My Ashaya."

Spock awoke with her curled up next to him. He slipped out of bed and into the refresher. He put on his dress Vulcan robes and pulled out his family's crest. He held onto it with hands that shook.

"Emotions are very irritating, but love is one of these emotions and I am glad I can feel it."

He whispered and watched Merissa as she slept. If she turned him down, a part of him would die and never come back. He finally knew what love was and it could destroy him. She shifted in her sleep and he fought to stay calm. Her body turned and her eyes opened.

They looked at him confused and then cleared.

"Hello Spock."

"Morning Merissa, does the morning find you well?"

His voice was calm though he did not feel calm.

She gave a slow smile and sat up.

"You look very handsome. I have always liked the Vulcan dress uniform."

He relaxed at her playful tone.

"You do not hate me?"

Her eyes widen and then she gave warm laugh.

"Oh Spock I promised you I would not. I never make a promise I can not keep."

Spock sat down next to her, as his heart resumed beating normal.

"Indeed but you where in Ponn Farr and I was worried your judgement was off."

She sat up and crawled into his lap, his body reacted to her being close to him and she grinned wickedly.

"So can we do that again?"

Spock gave a surprise laugh.

"Indeed but not yet, you will be to sore."

She pouted and gave him a long deep kiss.

"Spoil sport."

"Excuse me?"

He asked confused.

She laughed

"Never mind silly earth expression I picked up from McCoy."

She kissed his neck and sighed.

"You still smell good."

She hugged her body close to him.

"Aren't you going to touch me?"

"That would not be wise."

He began and she slipped out of his lap.

"I see."

Her tone was hurt and he stopped her before she could leave.

"No you do not. If I touch you I will awaken fully and you can not handle that right now."

He tilted up her face and gave her a loving kiss.

Her eyes filled at the emotion behind the kiss and she held still.

"Spock?"

He brought the crest from his side.

"This has been worn by members of my family since around the time your people came to us. I would like you to wear it."

She took the offered metal and it felt warm and alive in her hands.

"Why?"

"Because I want you to be my wife. Will you?"

His voice shook and a green blush came to his face.

"Well seeing as I am going to giving birth to your daughter in Nine months I guess I better."

She teased.

Spock looked at her stunned.

"Umm forgive me but what?"

She howled with laughter.

"Wow that was so logical Spock. I am pregnant; I felt it this morning. Allrane females know the moment they are pregnant for protection reasons."

Then her face went afraid.

"Unless you do not want a child with me."

Spock absorbed this and then he lifted her up swinging her around.

"I am going to be a father."

His face filled with joy and she laughed with him.

"You are most illogical Spock."

He smiled down at her.

"Only with you Merissa only with you. You will not tell McCoy will you?"

She pretend to think on it then laughed.

"I won't under one condition."

"Name it?"

He nibbled on her neck

"I pick the name of the child."

She teased.

"Are you saying there is something wrong with Vulcan names?"

He pretended to be offended and she chuckled.

"I claim the fifth Spock. I claim the fifth."

He laughed.

"That only works in a human court of law, My Ashaya "

Her face went soft with pleasure.

"Say that again?"

He leaned down and cupped her face in his large warm hands.

"My…"

He gave her a long deep kiss.

"Ashaya.."

And then he gave her another kiss.

"Today, tomorrow and forever I am yours."

Two months later….

It was a hot but beautiful day on Vulcan. Spock stood at attention as Kirk walked Merissa to Spock. A Vulcan elder performed the ceremony as McCoy and Kirk stood off to the side. Chekov and Lillith stood close together as she sniffled. Uhura stood next to Merissa as her maid of honor. Sulu stood off to the side holo taping the whole thing as Scotty pretended not to have tears in his eyes.

Sarek and Amanda stood near smiling with love, but none shown brighter then Spock and Merissa as they where joined together as man and wife. After the ceremony, they went back to the Enterprise. Spock pulled her close and rested a large hand on her slightly swelling tummy.

"For the first time in my life, I am happy and whole, and I owe it all to you my wife."

His voice was filled with love.

Tears ran down her face.

"Well someone had to make you more human."

He laughed with delight as they where beamed up.

His voice rang out to his family.

"Live long and prosper."

Then they both where gone.

\- 70 -


End file.
